Tosser~ a James Cook fanfic~

Finale~1

Tess still couldn't believe she had to keep coming to these therapy sessions. Her mum had dragged her to the first one about a month ago. Tess figured it was just another one of her half-hearted attempts to parent—something to make her look like the concerned mother she wasn't. So Tess assumed it wouldn't last. Her mum would forget about it, stop caring, and Tess could go back to her life.

But here she was, sitting on the same creaky chair in Dr. Avery's office.

Dr. Avery sat across from her, legs crossed, pen poised over his notepad, waiting for Tess to say something. Tess stared at her lap, tugging at a loose thread on her skirt, determined to say as little as possible.

"So," Tess muttered, breaking the silence. "How many more of these do I have to sit through before you decide I'm fixed?"

Dr. Avery gave her a small, patient smile. "Therapy isn't about being 'fixed.' It's about understanding yourself better. And I think you've started to do that, haven't you?"

Tess snorted. "If you say so. All I've done is talk about my mum and my dad. Not exactly groundbreaking stuff."

Dr. Avery tilted his head slightly. "We've talked about more than that. You've mentioned your friends, your relationships."

Tess rolled her eyes. "And how's that supposed to help? Talking about people who've screwed me over? Doesn't make them less gone, does it?"

"No, it doesn't," Dr. Avery said gently. "But it might help you understand why it hurts so much when they go."

Tess shifted uncomfortably, looking away. She didn't want to talk about this.

Dr. Avery leaned forward slightly. "Last week, you told me about your dad coming back when you were eleven. How for a little while, you thought things might actually be okay. Do you remember what you said about that?"

Tess swallowed, her fingers tugging harder at the thread. "I said it didn't last. That he left again. What's your point?"

"You said it made you feel stupid for hoping," Dr. Avery reminded her. "Like you should've known better. But you were a child, Tess. It's natural to want your dad to stay."

Tess's jaw tightened. "Yeah, well, wanting something doesn't mean it's gonna happen, does it? People leave. That's what they do."

Dr. Avery nodded thoughtfully. "And when they do, it hurts. So you've learned to protect yourself by not letting anyone get too close. You push them away before they can hurt you."

Tess shot him a glare, the words hitting closer to home than she wanted to admit. "I don't push people away."

"Don't you?" Dr. Avery asked, his voice calm but pointed.

Tess opened her mouth to argue but stopped short. Her mind flashed to Cook, to the way he'd told her she kept everyone at arm's length. To Katie, who had accused her many times of shutting her out, even to her mum, who was halfway out the door most days because Tess made it so easy for her to leave.

"Maybe I do," she muttered finally, her voice quieter now. "But it's not like it matters."

"It sounds like you've been let down a lot," Dr. Avery said gently. "But shutting people out doesn't stop you from getting hurt, does it?"

Tess looked down at her lap, "Maybe not," she admitted. "But at least it feels like I'm in control. Like I'm the one deciding."

Dr. Avery nodded, "It's hard to trust people when you've been hurt so many times. But you have people in your life who care about you, don't you? People who've stayed."