Stabs At The Heart || ONGOING || Dnf

{Chapter 24} Explanation

"Is the soup okay? It's just leftovers from the other night."

Clay didn't need to answer the question. He was devouring all of the substance in his bowl.

"Wow. You're eating it like you've been starving for days." He paused from eating to laugh at my comment.

"Well you're not wrong George. Usually I have to cook for myself but recently I have been unmotivated." That final word stood out to me; I could tell that he's been going through a tough time. However, I wasn't trying to make that my problem.

Silence took over the room as we finished our food. During that time, I prepared myself for the questions that I was to ask Clay. After cleaning up the dishes, I returned to the living room and found my guest on his phone.

"Sorry for being so rude, it's just the guys won't quit spamming me." I wasn't surprised. They did witness him drive away with me in his car after all. When he finally put his phone down, I was able to speak up. "Clay, I want to ask you some questions."

"Go ahead," he responded.

For whatever reason, I got nervous and my mind went blank. But I had to snap out of this! "So uhh... my question, why are you being so nice to me? I thought you hated me and were disgusted in me?"

"I'm guessing you'll want to hear the full truth. It mostly has to do with my family; their beliefs are all strictly homophobic. Before, I didn't care much if someone was gay, but I eventually wanted to gain some sort of validation. The thing is that things got messy with my cousin, I can't really go into the details of it. My whole childhood I had already faced neglect and verbal abuse, but now that I screwed up so badly I have become non-existent to my family. When word spread of an outed gay kid on campus, I thought that if I taught you a lesson I would feel better about myself and I could relate to the same beliefs as my family. Not only am I expected to be a certain way at school, but outside of it as well."

"Oh, I see," was all that I could say.

"Sorry for dumping so much info on you," Clay said while sighing.

"No no it's completely fine. You can continue if you have more to talk about."

The boy looked at me and then started, "I used to think that I was doing the right thing, for my family at least. But several months ago I came to a realization that my thoughts and actions were all for the wrong reasons. After all, I'm invisible to them so taking my anger out on you was not going to change my family's views on me. Eventually, when I noticed my wrong doings, I began to pity you. Because of that, I tried seeing things your way and that explains my... inappropriate behavior the time I first invited you to my house."

"Yeah inappropriate is one way to describe it," I laughed, trying to bring some positivity to the room. But the response was dull as Clay chuckled awkwardly.

"Look, it was really stupid of me to act that way on you. I wanted to try things out and you're the only gay person I know. But obviously I made a fool out of myself," said the boy with disappointment in his voice.

Although I still felt as if Clay was defending himself, I now had a better understanding of his current situation. It could have even been possible that this guy was exploring his sexuality which for some reason I found quite funny---considering the fact that he's been bullying me for being gay. But it was not my place to judge, coming from a person who has dealt with similar experiences.

"Personally, I think you need to sort your shit out. I'm picking up on the guilt that you feel. But from the looks of it, that's not gonna be enough for you to quit your antics. I don't want to forgive you so easily but at least you're sorry right?"

"Yes, I'm terribly sorry," Clay responded. That was fine with me, it would be pathetic to give in and forgive him just like that so I was going to wait. After all, any moment he can switch up on me.

"Thank you George, for being so understanding. I never thought you'd be the person that I'd open up to for the first time." This remark made me laugh.

"You know you didn't scream at me. Is there something you want to say? I did most of the talking anyway," he asked.

"Nah, I'm completely drained. You're lucky I'm sparing you," I joked. Suddenly, the mood wasn't as down as it was before. The two of us conversed back and forth teasingly.

The evening shifted into long conversations about several topics. Clay and I shared about our interests and the two of us seemed to be getting closer. As time flew by, it was already midnight when we began to yawn.

"Goddamn I'm tired," Clay exclaimed.

"Same here. But anyways it's probably too late for you to go out driving. I'll get you some blankets and a toothbrush," I said while getting up.

"Are you sure it's okay if I spend the night!?" Clay yelled from the living room as I walked upstairs.

"Of course just wait right there!" I yelled back.

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After achieving some extra blankets, the two of us used my bathroom to brush our teeth. Then, we headed downstairs so that Clay could get situated on the couch. Before heading back to my bedroom, I clarified to make sure he was comfortable, something he never did for me(💀).

As I was about to go upstairs, Clay interrupted me when he said, "Uh George I wanted to do something with you before you go to bed."

"What do you wanna do?" I spoke nervously. I was prepared for anything, whether I was going to get a punch to the face or stomach.

The boy approached me from the couch until we were standing just a foot apart. He then softly placed his hand against my cheek. What the hell? Is he warming up to slap me?

I was caught by surprise when Clay leaned down to kiss me. I was not prepared for this at all.