The rain continued into the morning as I opened my eyes to the light pitter-patter sound on my window. I checked my phone for the time. 6:30. Brilliant. There was no chance of me getting back to sleep, so I decided to just get up. My bare legs were immediately hit with the morning cold, making goose bumps appear all over my body. I slipped some skinny jeans and a bomber jacket, grabbing my phone and heading downstairs, shoving my converse on and heading out the door. I wandered down the street aimlessly, cigarette in hand. I don't really know why I came out, I just know I really hate that house, and wandering the streets of Widnes at 6 in the morning at 4 degrees celsius was better than being there. Morning fog set around the houses of this deserted street, creating a strange atmosphere. The only sounds we're the occasional rattle of chairs, as people set up their cafés for morning customers. I sat myself down on a bench just across from a cafe that seemed to be open, as there was already a customer sat in the front, alone, swirling a spoon around his brew. He looked up and out the window, staring aimlessly into nothing. Suddenly his eyes locked with mine and their grey colour brought back the memories of the previous night. He was the boy at the bus shelter.
He seemed to recognise me as well, as he gave me I small wave and mouthed "hello". I smirked and mouthed it back. He waved his hand, signalling me to come and join him. Hesitantly, I put out my fag and crossed the street, entering the cafe which was much warmer than outside. I smiled at the boy and sat down on the chair next to him, feeling slightly awkward.
"Hiya lass." He spoke, taking a sip of his brew. His eyes looked dark and his voice was gruff and deep, as if he'd literally just crawled out of bed.
"Alright." I replied, leaning my head on my hand.
"You feeling bit calmer today then?" He smirked, chuckling when I rolled my eyes at him.
"Sorry about that, I was fuckin angry." I replied, picking my nails. I was trying to go along with the joke of this situation, but deep down I was still really pissed off and this boy wasn't helping.
"Wouldn't of guessed," he said sarcastically, laughing lightly, "you alright though?".
I sighed, "yeah, champion."
There was a short silence before he spoke up again.
"I'm Van, by the way. Van Mccann."
"Kathleen," I replied, "Kathleen Adams."
"Kathleen," he echoed, smiling at me, "fancy a brew, Kathleen?"
"I've got nothin' on me." I replied, patting my empty pockets.
"No worries love, I'll sort you out."
He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and walked up to the counter.
Van Mccann. He sounded like a rock star, he looked like a rock star, sort of like Oasis in the 90s, with his mop of messy hair. To be honest, I found him incredibly attractive, however I felt myself not wanting to get too close with him.
Everybody leaves, my subconscious told me, everybody.
Van returned with a heart warming smile, and an even more heart warming steaming brew for me. I thanked him and sipped silently on it, while Van watched, a small smile etched on his face.
"What are you staring at?" I blurted out, coming across slightly more aggressive than I planned.
"You." He replied, not seeming phased by me at all.
He sent a feeling rushing through me, I felt it in the pit of my stomach. Id never felt this before, and to be honest, it terrified me. I felt uncomfortable and vulnerable, like Van was staring straight through me, into my soul. Like I was made of glass. I suddenly felt the need to get away.
"Thanks for the brew, Van, but I've gotta go." I said abruptly, standing up without making eye contact with him. His smile faltered and his eyebrows furrowed, "oi, what's up, why are you going?" He stood up and followed me out of the cafe and into the freezing cold once again.
"I just have to go, Van," I repeated, trying to push past, but failing as his tall frame blocked my path, "just fucking let me past!" I lost my cool and snapped again, finally shoving him aside and storming up the road.
"What the fuck is your problem, Kathleen?!" He called after me, but I took no notice and carried on walking. I stopped once I reached a bench, sitting down and taking out a cigarette with shaking hands, lighting it and taking a long drag. I mentally face palmed for being such a twat and snapping at Van again. He literally did nothing wrong, and I couldn't keep it together. I fucking hated myself for being such a cow, and wished I could go back and apologise, but the feelings I was getting from being in his presence scared me. I don't like getting close to people, because every time I do, they leave me without an explanation, or I do something stupid that fucks everything up. My stubbornness and mood swings get in the way of developing friendships, hence why I only have a very small group of friends. We are only friends through work, otherwise I probably wouldn't hang around with them. Checking my phone for the time, it was now only 7:15. I sighed internally, stood up, and began making my way home once again.
By the time I'd nearly reached my house I'd picked up a steady pace, and was jamming to The Stone Roses in my earphones. I was looking down at my feet, when I saw another pair begin walking next to me, in time with mine. I was startled, and looked up to see the last person I expected. I took my earphones out and stopped walking, so did Van. We stood in awkward silence for at least 10 seconds, before I finally found my voice.
"Sorry." I said softly, staring at the ground and scratching the back of my head.
"It's okay," Van replied, in the exact same tone of voice as me, "I just want to know what your about, yea? Do you or do you not wanna be me pal? Cos I feel like we could be good mates, y'know, me and you." His words made me smile, and that familiar feeling returned to the pit of my stomach.
I held out my hand. Van looked confused but did the same anyway.
"Friends?" I said, giving him a warm smile- the first real smile I'd ever given him.
He returned the smile and shook my hand, "friends."
We both laughed and continued walking.
"What were you listening to anyway? Looked like you was proper into it" he laughed, mimicking the way I was jamming out, walking in time with the beat.
"Stone Roses." I said, placing an earphone up to his ear. His eyes widened and a smile crept into his face, "fuck me this is a tune, Kathleen!"
I placed an earphone in my ear and we both strutted down the street, Van banging imaginary drums and me taking the guitar.
"I wanna be adoooooored!" We both belted at the top of our lungs, not caring that it was half 7 in the morning and we'd probably be waking up half of Liverpool. I was happy and I was having a laugh with good company.
"Fuckin' hell never thought I'd be having a little sing-song with Mrs. Stroppy Bollocks from the bus stop, eh?" Van said as we arrived at my front door, laughing and out of breath.
"Fuck off," I said, chuckling, "never thought I'd be having a brew with the creepy stranger that offers lighters to vulnerable girls." I replied, making him laugh.
"Seriously though, everything alright lass? Something going on at home?" He asked, looking genuinely concerned. Fuck me, we'd only met 10 hours ago and now look at us.
"Yeah yeah, top, just my parents, y'know, arguing and shit. It doesn't matter anyway." I said, suddenly feeling awkward and vulnerable again.
"Okay love, as long as your good. I'll see you later then yea?" He said, giving me a reassuring smile.
"Yeah, sound. See you later." I watched as he walked down the steps and down the path, but stopped and turned back around.
"Wait, Kathleen?"
"Yeah?" I smiled.
"Give us your number will you, love?"
I rolled my eyes, laughing as I pulled out my phone and watched Van run back up to me. We exchanged numbers and Van gave me an unexpected hug.
"Goodbye Kathleen." He whispered.
"Bye Van."
