~Gunshot~

~The Father~

The father

I saw my mother sitting in the public gallery. Dad had his arm wrapped protectively around her as they both simultaneously glared at Ed. He was standing in front of the jury with no expression on his face. He held himself strong and upright like he felt as if he had done nothing wrong.

"Guilty"

Mum and dad sighed with relief and embraced each other. Ed was taken down to the cells but not before he tried one last time to get to the women who ruined his life.

"I'll see you in fifteen years Sue, eyes open" he hissed as he walked closer to the gallery. Dads grip tightened around my mum's waist as mum glared at Clive. Police grabbed Ed's arm and dragged him to the stairs. Ed blew my mum a kiss and winked at her before disappearing. My mum turned to face my dad and slotted her head into his neck. They were safe...for now.

I left my parents in their tight embrace and followed Ed. He was lead down a series of dark tunnels, screams echoed through the corridors as abuse was hurled from cell to cell. Ed stopped outside a small door. The women unlocked it and Ed slowly stepped in. The door was slammed behind him. He stared around the room, white washed walls with dim black floor tiles. A bed was over in the corner under a very thin window. There was a toilet on the wall alongside a desk and chair. It was simple yet not as grim as I thought it would be. I've always had a particular image lodged in my head of a prison cell. Tarmac floor, colourless walls, rickety old bed, grey sink no window, silver bars for a door and tally charts scribbled in pencil on the walls.

Ed made his way over to the bed. He sat down and it made a terrible squeaky sound. He lay back against the wall and sighed. Prison suited him, he belonged and deserved to be here. He dug around in his pocket and retrieved a small crumpled photo. He slotted the photo into the window frame so it hung on the wall like a poster.

Mum.

The monster had a photo of my mum in his pocket. He kissed her and lent his head against hers he whispered three fatal words "I love you". Was he serious? He beat her up, and then has the audacity to say that he loves her...

"However, you went and ruined it, you got pregnant and didn't get rid of it! I mean what do you expect? I could never be a dad which, is what you expected me to become. No one tells me what to do! I will kill you Sue! When I get out of here I will kill you, you caused all this you've brought death upon yourself. So enjoy your last fifteen years with your prefect husband and perfect child...I'm coming"

He was actually mad...

I let the years roll by, Ed stayed in the cell by himself doing next to nothing. Every day he would yell abuse at my mother. Every day was the same speech, the same time. Like he thought no time was going by...

Suddenly I noticed the date. 15th August 2007. I was ten years old and this was the worst day of my life, directly before the day I was shot by my own father in a deserted back alley. I decided to leave Clive for one day and go and visit my father. I remembered this day vividly despite witnessing it through blurry tears. It wasn't a complete shock, more like a long overdue kick in the teeth. He had cancer and I knew it was coming. But nothing could prepare you for something like that...

I went to the hospital; dad was lying there grey and skinny. He had his eyes shut I knew this scene all too well...my dad's eyes flickered open. He turned to face the massive window; he loved that window you could see for miles and miles. It made him fell free yet he was trapped silent in a lonely hospital bed. We tried to be there as much as we could but I was ten, I was in school and mum had to work seeing as dad couldn't... I looked over at my dad; I hated seeing him like this. He was usually so full of life up, for the challenge. I glanced over to the clock, I saw it tick. Eighteen past two. I closed my eyes for a second. I couldn't watch the life drain from my father. I missed the first time and there was no way I wanted to witness that...I leaned over and planted a kiss on my father's forehead. I flicked the hanging curl in the middle of his face and hooked it behind his ear.

Goodnight.

I walked out into the corridor. I saw my mum bounce down along the walls, she looked happier, the happiest I've seen her this entire demented trip. I saw a ten year old version of myself. Black plaits hanging past her shoulders. I was wearing my little grey school uniform with a purple backpack on my back. I looked so innocent and had no idea what was about to come. I saw my mum open the door, she and myself walked in. I blinked at them and walked away, there was no way I could witness those screams come from my mother's mouth again. There permanently lodged in my memory anyway...

I headed back to keep a watchful eye on Ed. I left my mother and myself to grieve in peace. I would grow numb and feel no pain apart from the coldness and breathlessness; my mother would bottle it up and drink and eventually be happy again with Mark...

Five more years passed until the day when those doors eventually were unlocked. It was several days before my shooting...he took the photo off the wall and kissed it before heading to his freedom.

"I'm coming Sue" he whispered. It was as if he never noticed fifteen years of staring at the same four walls. In his eyes this was still the day that he was found not guilty...he left the prison and headed down to the nearest pub. I watched him as he necked back stella after stella. He drank himself till he could barely stand yet somehow he mustered up the strength to stumble to the nearest bus stop. He collapsed onto the bench and passed out. I watched him sleep feeling jealous of his chest moving up and down, it's a strange thing to miss, the air...I miss breathing.

He stayed there asleep throughout the night as the alcohol raged through his veins. He woke up early in the morning when a couple of school boys whacked him over the head with a lucazade bottle. He woke up in a grumpy state hurling abuse at the kids, they fought back and chased him down the street. He left them obviously not in a mood to fight. He stumbled along the street suffering a really bad hang over. He turned a series of corners before arriving at a dingy worn down house. It was the same house I found my mother broken in. He unlocked the door and headed up the creaking staircase. He entered the bedroom and collapsed on the bed before once again crashing out. I felt rather ashamed to admit I was related to this mess...

The next morning Ed woke up, he looked a hell of a lot better. He jumped out of bed pulled on his coat and ran outside. He entered a nearby shop and paid for a pack of cigarettes. He leaned against the wall outside and took some deep puffs letting the smoke whirl around him like a cage.

Suddenly I passed him.

He took it the cigarette, chucked to the ground and stamped on it. "Sue" he hissed. He followed me keeping a very safe distance behind. I was wearing denim shorts a purple hoodie, my hair was scraped back into a straggly blonde ponytail and I had my famous converses on. From behind I did look like an exact replica of my mum...I got on my number seventy six bus and he stopped in his tracks. Defeated. He took out another cigarette and headed home.

He stayed in the house for the next few days just smoking, drinking and sleeping. One day he went under the bed and took out a small cardboard box. I peered over his shoulder causing him to shudder and cough. He uncovered a silver gun...the same gun that took my last breath, the same gun that killed me. He slotted it into his pocket and headed out the door. He ran to a nearby library, he logged onto one on the public computers. He searched for a bus route time table and then typed in the number seventy six. He found out it terminated at Gateway Street. He logged off and headed back out the door. He took a chance and hoped for the best, hopefully I would get off at the last stop.

He patted the gun in his pocket and ran all the way, all the way to Gateway Street. He stopped at the bus stop and waited. He waited and waited. Hours went by, hour after hour. I thought he was going to give up at some point and go back to square one. However eventually I clambered of the bus. I had my headphones in blasting out my music. Ed stood up, I didn't even acknowledge him... he followed behind me as I took the shortcut down the back lane. He let me walk ahead while he took out the gun. He walked out into light; I closed my eyes as I heard my mother's name being whispered closely followed by a gunshot.

My father killed me because he thought I was my mother. He killed his own daughter because he wanted to kill his girlfriend, he wanted to kill his girlfriend because she got pregnant and wouldn't get rid of it, she disobeyed him and he couldn't stand that! I had found my answer to why and who killed me...finding out a lot more than I bargained for along the way.