Is There More To Love

Chapter 1 - Introduction - Is every feeling love?

Unedited 

(Love is not a place to come and go as you please.
It is a place you enter and then commit to never leave.)

I will dive right into it, I will not hesitate. We all want a great story. We all want a story that will take us to that place. One wise woman once said all good things come to those who wait.

Kaloa's POV

Someone told me to love from my heart, and then I heard someone else say love from your head. They were convincing. That is very confusing. What is the difference really? Maybe it is because people who love from their hearts get hurt easily and they are always at the mercy of those who love from their heads. Is that true? Can one choose how to love? I believe once you love, you love.

Then these thoughts; the ongoing thoughts. The loud voices with unanswered questions inside my head. Will I find that someone who will love me from the heart or will I be able to love from the heart? Ask everyone who has had their fill of life and they will tell you that some things are easier caught than taught.

"Good evening Mr. Sevensen!" I said waving and then smiling.

"Hi Kaloa," said Mr. Sevensen smiling warmly and waving back. He then focused his attention back on the young man he was talking to.

Having retired from the army, Mr. Sevensen had a lovely nursery whose location was close to my home. It had such beautiful flowers. Each day I passed by his nursery, I could not help but wonder if I would ever get a bunch of such lovely flowers. Of course, I can afford them, I thought to myself, but it would be lovely to have someone deliver them to my doorstep. Fantasy huh.

"You seem to be in a hurry," said an unknown but deep and friendly voice.

"Huh," that was my response. I was still lost somewhere in my sea of fantasy.
As I turned towards the voice, I realised that it was the same young man Mr. Sevensen was talking to, I just smiled.

"It looks like we are going in the same direction. Can I help you carry some of your groceries?" He asked already extending his hands. His voice was so humble. I smiled again.

That is strange, I thought to myself. I usually do not smile this much to strangers.

"Hi!" I said. "The groceries were heavy anyway."

"You have a sense of humor." The young man said. Our eyes met as we both smiled. I gave him almost everything I was carrying.

Such good manners, I thought to myself. People like this are rare these days.

"Thank you!" I said to the young man.

"So you know Mr. Sevensen?" the young man asked.

"Yes, he is a good and happy man. He sells such lovely flowers." I said.

All of a sudden, my mouth dried. It was like the supply of saliva had just been vanquished. Like a toddler who is still finding his luck with words, I could not find anything to say. This was not like me, for the first time in a long time all the words I had ever known just vanished. Please say something, I screamed in my inside.

"I am Sabin," said the young man after seconds of silence. To me, those seconds seemed like forever.

"What does your name mean?' That is all I could manage to say.

"It is from ancient Italian", he said. "My father is Latino. I am still looking into the meaning. I doubt if it has meaning though," replied Sabin.

I looked at him and our eyes met again. He smiled. Gosh, he is so handsome.

"You stay around here?" I asked him.

"No, I am going to see a friend of mine. You might know her, Cyra. It looks like it's a small neighborhood."

Oh, no he has a girlfriend. After building castles in the air, the last thing I wanted to hear was that a man with such an amazing build is taken already.

"Mmh, I don't know her, I am still new here," I said trying to hide my disappointment.

He blushed. Oh goodness, such beautiful teeth but it does not matter now, he is with another.

"This is me," I said pointing to a block of flats we were approaching.

"I didn't get your name," said Sabin.

"Kaloa, my name is Kaloa," I said.

"You see the next block of flats", he said pointing and I nodded, "then the next, the one after that is where I am going."

Not all this explanation mattered anymore. If it was a battle, I knew I had lost already. I was sure he is taken.

"I would really love to see you again", he said and the look in his eyes was sincere. I smiled at him shockingly.

He gave me my groceries and said again,
"I would really, really love to see you again." His eyes were sincere, his voice too.

Goodness is that a hint. He thinks I would give him my number without even asking. I thought to myself.

"Thank you for helping me carry my groceries," I said. He blushed. Why does he have a girlfriend?

As I was walking away Sabin said, "You know Kaloa; I really would love to see you again."

I said goodbye. The request was sincere but I could feel that something was holding him back from asking for my number.

Why does he have to be good-looking and unavailable? I could not help but think of what could have been. We could have worked. I thought to myself. Maybe he is not taken. These were thoughts to comfort myself. He said a friend after all. We all know that voice. That voice that always chooses to remain positive. What if he is just being a guy. I inhaled deeply as I pressed the elevator button.

To me, Sabin had the kind of face that stopped you in your tracks. I guess he must be used to that, the sudden pause in a person's natural expression when they looked his way followed by overcompensating with a nonchalant gaze and a weak smile. Of course, the blush that accompanied it was a dead give-away. What if I had given him my number, what if he had asked for it. The idea of not seeing him again made me sick in my tummy. I lay on my bed and I could not stand the fact that this was it. I will not see him again.

I decided to run downstairs and stand at the gate, perhaps he will come back this way. I thought to myself. I stood and waited and he did not come back. I waited again but no, he did not come back. I felt stupid and hurt. I could feel my tears.

Time and chance happen to us all. I just lost my chance and I will never know what it would have been like if I had given him my number. Sometimes there are second chances but on a scale of zero to ten, it might be zero point zero zero zero zero one. It is still a chance I guess. Most people hold on to it.

You know there are winds of opportunities. Once you miss a specific wind, it may never come back your way. There are those once-off chances, if you miss them, that is it. You will live with regret all your life. Not every love story is meant to be happy.

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Author's comments

(The book is unedited. Please feel free to help with my grammar. This is my first book and I am willing to learn)

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