Hell's Army

Chapter Twenty-eight- The Good, the Bad, and the Hungry

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about this," Holly muttered as the trooped up the stairs to Tatters' apartment.

"You weren't really in a talking mood," Ingleseid said.

Holly glanced at him. "Listen- what I said- I'm sorry, okay? It wasn't right." Her familiar glare settled across her face. "But seriously, Garrett living with Tatters?"

He didn't care she was angry. Nothing she could say could make the little light fizzle out in his chest. She was back.

"He's a vampire, Ab," she said as he closed his hand around the doorknob. "He could go bad, or eat someone, or-"

He opened the door, and a suit-clad Garrett ran after Tatters, who was wearing a red cape and a wig.

"Now as thou lovest me," Garrett said, "let me see his letter."

Tatters thought for a moment, mumbled, "Good Master Fabian, grant me another reuest." His wig bounced up and down as he talked.

"What the hell is going on?" Holly demanded.

Garrett whipped around. "Shakespeare."

Holly raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Tatters has remarkable potential as an actor," Garrett said. "He has great posture."

Tatters smiled slightly. Ingleseid privately thought that the only acting gig he was destined to get was a corpse extra in one of those procedural cop shows, but didn't think it best to say so.

"Meanwhile," Holly muttered, "in the real world, the angels are going to help us fight the vampires."

Ingleseid wondered when his life had gotten to the point that that was the most normal thing said this evening.

"Angels are real?" Garrett asked.

"Of course angels are real. Hush," Ingleseid said. He'd forgotten that their undead little friend hadn't exactly been in the world of the supernatural as long as they had.

"What about Hell?" Tatters asked.

"I'll pop down, tell them what's going on."

"Hell's real?" Garrett demanded.

Holly rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

"The priest's on board, too," Ingleseid said.

"I don't like the priest," Tatters mumbled.

"No one likes the priest."

"What priest?" Garrett asked.

"Seriously, shut up," Holly said. She looked at Ingleseid. "I'm gonna head home and check out the books, see if there's some method for icing an army of undead pricks. Tatters, you want to take that dress off, come with?"

"It's a cloak, actually," Garrett sniffed.

"Okay," Tatters mumbled.

Holly nodded, pulling him along. She pointed a threatening finger at Garrett and Ingleseid. "You two- don't do anything stupid."

Ingleseid gave her a mock salute, and the door snapped shut behind them.

An awkward silence settled over the pair of them, and Ingleseid thought for a moment about what he could possibly say to the vampire wearing an old batman cape.

"Do you like coffee?" was what he finally settled with.

And that was how he ended up in The Little Coffee Shop, a café with one of the most literal names Ingleseid had ever come across.