"John, what are you doing?" I knew what he was doing. His face was next to mine and his eyes were focused on my lips.
"Shh," he said and moved closer.
"John, don't--" I was cut off by his warm lips pressing against mine. I quickly pulled away, shocked.
"Oh come on, Olive."
"No, John, I'm with Finn. And don't call me that,'' I said, referring to the pet name he had for me when we were dating.
John cupped my chin and gently moved my face to look at his. Before I could move away his lips were on mine again.
I felt something tug at my heart. I knew what is was, and I tried desperately to lock it away. I had told myself that I would never go back to John, not after what he did to me.
I struggled with my feelings for a moment, but I knew I was fighting a losing battle. My hands buried themselves in John's hair seemingly of their own accord, and I started kissing him back. He pulled me closer to him, and my heart skipped a beat. It was just like old times.
I was suddenly hit by everything I had tried to repress-- the hurt at seeing him with another girl, how it hurt to know that I had been used. I pulled back to look at his cool blue eyes, the ones I used to get myself lost in. I knew that I need to throw away these things I was feeling.
So I kissed him.
In that kiss, I poured all of my hatred and anger at what had happened into it. John wrapped his arms around my waist, oblivious to what was happening inside my head. I heard a scoff behind me and looked up to see Finn standing in the doorway, a look of hurt on his face.
"Finn, wait!" He was gone before I could say anything else. I pulled myself out from John's arms and ran after Finn. I chased him down the stairs and out the doorway. I found him standing in the driveway, his hurt replaced by anger.
"Finn, please. Just let me explain--" I started.
"Explain what, Olivia? That you went crawling back to the guy who used you and cheated on you? That you did the same thing to me? That this is what you'd planned all along?"
"No-"
"Then what, Olivia? What is there to explain?"
" Finn, I didn't want to kiss him--"
"Right, that's why you were all over him, and why you were making out and stuff. Because you didn't want to kiss him."
"Finn, please, you don't understand! It's not what you think--"
"I know what I saw, and it's exactly what I think it is." Finn had stopped yelling, and his voice had turned solemn. His anger had gone away, and all that was left was the hurt. Thought he tried to hide it, I knew how he felt. Tears slid down my cheeks.
"Finn, I love you, not John, or anybody else for that matter. You." I took a step closer to him. I could have grabbed his hand and held it in mine. I didn't.
"If you love me so much, then why did you kiss him?" Finn asked me. I knew he would have listened to anything I told him, but despite my reasoning, there wasn't an excuse for what I did. A new wave of tears tumbled down my cheeks. Finn nodded while I stared at my feet.
