Mission Love - Chasing Mr. Right ✓

Forty

Recap: Marriage to Ryan?

The waves crashed, the breeze tossed my hair in every direction, and the cold sand beneath my feet felt like nature’s way of reminding me how I was an idiot for running out here barefoot. 

Because obviously, I had bigger things to worry about—like what the actual freak was happening with my life. And more importantly, why was Ryan here instead of doing the smart thing and running as far away as possible?

"No. I can't do this," I whined, arms flailing in exasperation as I paced in a circle. "I-This whole thing! It's so stupid! I mean.. why's this even happening?"

"Hey, calm down! " Ryan grabbed my hand, making me halt in my mid step. "You're overthinking it. We'll figure it out together."

I threw him a glare. "Together? Are you serious? I'm losing my mind here over it, Ryan!"
The words came out more frantic than I intended, edged with a dramatic, almost childish whine—but I couldn’t help it. Everything felt like it was spinning out of control.

"Listen," he said slowly, placing a hand on my shoulder, "we can take it one step at a time, alright? You're not alone in this."

"I know!" I groaned, throwing my hands up before crossing my arms.
I sighed dramatically again. "But.. Look at you.. you're so calm and collected, and I'm here about to have a freakin' meltdown."

Ryan gave me that patient smile of his, "Then, should I join you?"

Wait, what? My brain hiccupped.

"Obviously, No. "I threw my hands up in exasperation. "I mean. It’s... it’s... I’m just— I just want to go home and forget about this mess! I can't even think straight. I'm not ready for any of this, and- and.." My voice cracked mid-rant, with a sharp breath I yelled out the words in frustration.
"I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD MY FIRST KISS YET!"

I exhaled loudly, my eyes threatening to water.

Shit! What did I say? Why did I say that?

Ryan blinked slowly, before he turned the other way.

"Interesting.." he dragged it out lazily, trying (and failing) to hide his amusement.

"I swear to God, don't you dare laugh!"
I muttered, sinking my feet further into the sand, wishing the earth would just swallow me up and spare me from this level of humiliation.

"Don’t worry," Ryan began, stepping closer, his voice oh-so-serious, "I’m not laughing."

I shot him a side-eye. He was definitely about to laugh. There was that telltale twitch of his lips. And then, in the most absurd baby voice possible, he added, " So, you’ve never been kissed before?"

Heat instantly exploded to my cheeks. My face was probably five shades of red, and I could feel it creeping down my neck. My fingers curled into fists, but my brain went on strike.

Instead, all that came out was a strangled noise, before I blurted out, "Only in dreams."

Ryan froze. His expression shifted, and for a split second, I thought I might die of sheer mortification. His gaze darkened, and I saw that glint of curiosity, and amusement in his stormy eyes.

I mentally slapped myself. Why couldn’t I ever just keep my mouth shut?

"You want me to fix that?" he asked, huskily.

Eh?

What? Did he just-? He had to be joking. Right?

My heart slammed against my ribs, so loud I bet he could hear it.