You Don't Believe In Love? Well You're Bluff ~Jalex (Discontinued)

Fucked Up Voice, In A Fucked Up Head

~Jack's p.o.v~

I fixed Alex. I did it, I actually fixed someone...But, there one problem, and that is...I can't fix myself. I had made a promise with Alex that I do trust him, that I do in fact believe him he loves me but, there that one part that I still don't believe in any of that. I trust Alex but, believing in him he loves me I still don't know about that. 

'He lying to you...He doesn't love you, he just wants to use you like everyone else' 

Shut up! I put my face in my hands, fucking voices...Fucking fucked up head. "Hey..Jack, you alright?" Alex voice brought me out of my thoughts, I looked up from my hands and looked at him and nodded, "I'm fine...". I wasn't, I was fucking lying...I'm not okay, trust me, because it the truth. "Quit lying, Jack...You do know i'm here for you, you can tell me anything" Alex says sitting next to me on his bed, I just looked at him and then his arms. He cut...I knew that, and now the cuts are invisible by a white fabric called bandages. He was afraid like every single person who cuts, he afraid of what the other people opinions about him, the people who cut doesn't want to be judged neither given pity, they just want help...Even if they don't, there going to be a part of them that they wanted help called love and honesty. 

I needed help, I knew that...But there that one simple thing that I can't help but leave it, it called love. Love...Love meant nothing to me, I hate it, it makes me sick to stomach to say it, it even makes me sick to even say that I loved an object like an game. "Jack?" I completely forgot Alex was in the room I just got lost in my thoughts I looked at him, "Yes?" I ask like me in my own world and trapped in my mind didn't even happened, "Are you ok? And please don't lie to me" he says looking straight into my brown eyes. 

'Don't tell him...He won't care neither less, you better lie because lying is the best option...' 

I thought twice, three, four until I finally made up my answer. "Yes..." I say trailing off, I lied. I fucking lied because I didn't want help from him, the voice is right...He doesn't care. He looked at me not to amused with my answer, "Is that really you're honest answer...?" Alex ask I nodded rather quickly, he sighed. "Ok..." He says looking away which i'm guessing he going to his own world, I looked away too staring across his room leaving me in my thoughts. 

'You want the razor...You want the sharp object in you're hand do you? Admit it, you want it...'

No...I shook my head as I looked out the window then at the time it was in fact, 9 p.m. Mom was still out maybe drunk in her own world and going with some random men, i'm worried about her...I know she loosing her job and now she selling her body to guys that will be total fuckers to her, they just want to fuck her and even used her. Use...Why do we all humans even use each other? What for it, it just like bullying you're own kind, you're using you're own fucking kind to be a slave and bow down to you. Just because the slaves were weak doesn't mean to make them bow down to you, you should help them and raise them to be fucking stronger not like a damn slave. Using people is bullshit, there no use to that, I mean what up to it? There weak, why use them? All you're doing is giving them fears, fears where they hate being physically touched, and mentally insane along with being scared of there own kind. 

I was staring at the clock I looked away and got up, "I have to go, Alex..." I say, Alex looked at me and stood up too and went straight to his closet and taking out an backpack. "Alex...What you doing?" I ask utterly confused, "Coming with you, you silly goose" he says playfully as he stuff some clothes in his backpack I stared at him as he finished packing and put the strap over his  shoulder and looked at me. "Alright Lugia, lead the way" He says pointing out the door I just looked at him and shook my head, "Alex...You don't need to stay o-" I was cut off by a grasp on my arm and pulling me out of the room, "I'm staying over, like it or not i'm staying at you're place" He says as he leads me out the front door, and he slams the front door. "But, Alex! I'm going to be fine" I say shaking my head he looked at me and shrugged, "Too late, already walked out the door" He says shrugging. 

I sighed as he grab my arm once again, I growled a little as I looked at him or most likely glaring at him, "Easy, Tauros" He says as he leads me down the street to my house. I grunt at the Pokemon references, "Shut up, with the stupid references..." I muttered he looked at me and we stopped talking. "Don't be jelly, Gary Oak, cuz' i'm gonna become the Pokemon master!" He says as he leans in kissing me on the lips, I couldn't help but melt into the kiss. 

'How could you? You kissed the person who won't love you back...Pity'

Shut up! He not going to do that!

'He will...Watch...Watch where you sit on you're bed you're heart right next to you, still beating, beating for love'

I felt tears prick in my eyes, Alex noticed and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back as I bury my face in his shoulder as I sobbed into his shoulder, "What's wrong..? I thought you were okay..." He whispers up in my ear sending shivers down my spine, "I-I...L-Lied..." I admitted as I sobbed more in his shoulder, he pulled away and looked at me. "What's wrong?" He ask as he looked at me waiting for me to answer, i just shook my head and put my face in my hands, "Shhh...Come on, lets go to you're house, we'll talk about this later..." He says quietly, I nodded as he held my hand and we both walked toward my home. 

A/N:

I'm back to school...FML! I apparently went to my new school, I almost had an anxiety attack in the first day of school. I had a friend, I KNOW SURPRISE! I was surprised, I thought I was going to be a suck up loner, but no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I apparently had a friend. She nice, she likes rock...I don't know her favorite band :(. Anyway, if you're back to school...SUX TO BE YOU!!!! *Nervous laugh* I'm kidding...Anyway, sorry for not updating eheh...You know, life...I DO HAVE A LIFE! *nervous laugh once again* You guys caught me on a murder scene, I lied...*looks at the dead body on floor, and looks back at you then drops knife and runs away arms flailing* YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!! Alrighty, that all I have to say... I think....Ya....Ya....Welp ya, lot of 'ya's' anyway, I see you Raves later, and I try to update often. If i'm pissed off I might make an chapter, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW! Anyway, I bet you guys are going to make me mad now so I can update. Well...Ya....BYE! *runs in closet, and starts watching ImmortalHD* Yep...I'm addicted to his videos along with his dog, Mishka...I'm new to his channel so don't start bitching at me, if he doesn't have Mishka anymore...

ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't have social media shit. Like tumblr and facebook, Twitter, etc. Uh no. So ya, if you were going to ask, EHUEHEUH NOPEY NOPE! 

~XoxDerpyMyChem