Chapter 49: Hearts
I arrived in Mudelior halfheartedly. I always thought that it was too ridiculous for Kreios— a king, to spread those silly society papers and make our story a laughingstock of the whole Nemetio Spiran.
I once saw him as someone who was too insensitive and selfish to force me into a decision that was against my will. Alam iyon nina Lily, Claret, Kamahalan at maging ni Reyna Leticia. They all knew how I wanted to stay after what happened in our kingdom, but Kreios continued to cause havoc as if this world was just all about us— and our story.
I wanted to give him a lesson by surprising him with a throat on his neck. I wanted to give him a hard time manipulating me. I once thought that maybe it was his way to get back at me after I forced him to be the king, and I was just paying for it, but couldn't he wait?
Natatandaan ko pa kung gaano katindi ang galit ko sa kanya sa pag-aakala kong hindi niya man lang naiintindihan ang sitwasyon ko. I wanted to give him a hard time trapping me in his empire— for caging me as if I didn't have any choice but to be his queen.
All my life, I was sheltered and treated as a fragile princess who needed protection. Laging nasa unahan ang mga kapatid ko para akuin ang lahat ng suliranin sa emperyo. I wanted to give back— I wanted to prove that I was more than that and that I was more than the youngest princess who had a singing voice for entertainment. But when Kreios started his ridiculous stunt at ipinadala ako ng mga kapatid ko sa Mudelior na hindi man lang ako hinahayaang tumulong sa kanila, tila pakiramdam ko'y unti-unti nang nawawala ang pangarap na iyon.
It was so frustrating that I started to think about my worth in the empire. I always value and adore my title as a princess, but was that just the title for me? Ano na nga ba ang napatunayan ko katulad ng mga kapatid ko sa Sartorias?
I always asked myself how I could be fitted to be a queen of another empire, if I couldn't even see myself as a worthy princess with her title.
Wasn't I too ambiguous to claim this title as the queen if having a title as a princess was nothing but a name at all?
Buong akala ko nang makarating ako sa Mudelior ay tuluyan na akong lalayo sa responsibilidad sa Sartorias, at haharapin ko na ang pagiging reyna na hindi buo ang puso ngunit hindi ko akalain na handa si Kreios ibigay sa akin ang misyong akala ko'y hindi ko na magagawa.
Now I realized that this particular mission in Mudelior was not meant for anyone else, not for Lily, King Dastan, Zen, Caleb, Finn, Evan, and even Casper, but for me. Father gave me the path... the trail and the puzzle that only I could decipher.
How could anyone think of that? When I first heard the rumors about the Holy Water and how women in the Entertainment District were aware of it, I assumed it was just Father's way of tricking us—a way to deceive those who had an interest in the water. Because there was no way that King Thaddeus would openly point to the place that we'd been looking for.
But who would have thought that it was his way to guide them on their way out? He assured that the rumors would not die down— that it would become an impossible dream for women in the district.
He made it an unbelievable legend.
The women in the Entertainment District were all aware that the Holy Land could never be found, because it would be the one who'd find us.
And my father knew who among his children could reach this place— someone who could be here, not just as royalty, but someone who could perfectly fit in and understand the women. He knew that I would try to be one of these women in the district... he knew that I could decipher this puzzle, and he knew that just like these women around me, I could find it.
