Now That You're Back

Flash back 

December 24th

I awoke to the sound of the whipping wind outside of my window. It was about 4 in the morning and now that I was up, there was no way I was going back to sleep. If Lou was here, he would come and sing to me, then I would definitely be able to sleep, but he wasn't. He couldn't even come for Christmas or our birthday. Instead, he decided to go spend holiday with one of his band mates, Harry. Supposedly, Harry and Lou were best friends, even known for some bromance. I used to be Lou's best friend, but how could I not be? We were twins after all. But since he left for X Factor, it's as if I never existed. I watched all his video diaries and interviews and he hasn't mentioned me once, it's as if he never had a twin sister.

Slowly, I get up out of bed. I pull on one of his old sweatshirts and trudge across the hall to his room. His room is exactly as he left it, his clothes are neatly hung up in the closet and his dresser drawers are shut perfectly, as if his shirts and pants were folded neatly inside. But only I would know that if you would walk over and open one of those drawers, you would find them to be empty.

I walk over to his desk, there's an old history textbook that we've spilt coffee on, a countless number of times, due to our habit of late night studying. I run my fingers over the cold cover, remembering how bad Lou is at history. I would always help him with history and he would help me with math.

I walk away from the desk and stand by his bed. When he left, his bed was perfectly made, but now it has crinkly spots from nights like this when I can't sleep. But tonight is not just 'one of those nights', tomorrow is our birthday. One I will have to spend alone with my parents. Normally, Lou and I would have a party to celebrate, but now that Lou is gone, it seems all of our friends left too. Or at least left me. But it really wasn't much of a surprise when I got to school the morning Lou left and they told me I couldn't hang out with them. I mean, I suspected something like that would happen, Lou was always the social one and I was just sort of along for the ride.

I lay down on top of his sheets and stare at his ceiling that still had glow-in-the-dark stars on it. Some nights, I try to call him, each time I get the same response. A voicemail machine saying he will call back if I leave a message, but each time I leave one! I still get the same reply. Nothing. He used to call everyday but after about three weeks, he just stopped. At first, I thought he died or something, but sure enough, every Tuesday and Wednesday his smiling face would pop up and he would sing with his new boy band.

I did my best to try and be open minded about his band mates, but it didn't work very well. They were the reason my brother wasn't calling, they were his new family. The only thing I resented more than the band itself, was Harry. Harry was Louis' new me, he had replaced me. Hell, Louis was even spending the holiday with Harry's family!! Not his own.

Sleep didn't come that night, sleep didn't come most nights either.

PRESENT DAY

I was sitting at my kitchen counter, watching my mom prepare breakfast, it was a tradition. She made Lou and I breakfast every morning on the last week of school. So, she was making me breakfast even though Lou was absent. 

I heard the ding of the dryer telling me my uniform was dry. I trudged to the laundry room and grabbed the plaid skirt and blazer and ran up the stairs to my room.

I dug around in my drawers looking for the white dress shirt that goes under my uniform. Once I found it, I went to iron the whole uniform. One thing about me is I'm practically OCD, everything has to be completely tidy and neat. My clothes cannot have wrinkles, my hair cannot be anything but straight or up in a perfect pony tail, and my room must be clean all the time. Another thing you should know is I'm definitely a nerd. I don't really mind either, except sometimes I miss having people talk to me, or even acknowledge I'm there. But otherwise I'm fine with flying under the radar. When I was with Louis, I was never under the radar, we were soaring far above it.