My Boyish Girl

I'm not in the mood

~~~Antoinette~~~

Is it really true am I really accidentally InLove with a boy? No no I won't break the rule. Yes you are going to break the rule. Answered by my heart. No I'm not breaking it my brain fought.
Heart and Brain are foughting about would I break the rule or not.

At the corner of my eye, I could see the others running. They stop and panting. I look up and see Jericka she had a worried looking. She kneeled down infront of me and wipe my tears.

"Antoinette are you ok?" She whisper.

"Yeah and I'm not in the mood of seeing him yet." I look down at my shoes.

"What? Why?" I slowly stood up and so is she.

"I'm just........tired and depress that's all I.....I.....just wanted to go home. Tell the others I'm going home I'm just tired ok?" She nodded, we hug and I walk down the white silent hallway.

After my walking distance from hospital to my house. I push the small fence door and Erick's bike wasn't here so maybe he stayed at the hospital for the night. Well I think Erick and Luke are closed as brothers. I open the door and walk in, I close the door behind me and I walk to kitchen to get something to eat. I open the fridge and see apple pie that I made. I put it inside the oven and let it warm. About a minute it's done. I eat it and grab a water bottle and walk up stairs.

I open my room and lock it.I place my water bottle on my nightstand. I walk over at my window couch and sit on it. I grab my square pillow and hug it, I pick outside and see the light of the city. Cars moving down the road, peoples walking on the sidewalk or girls go inside some a.........a........screw that.

Later of staring outside, I saw two people infront of a doorframe. The girl had her arm wrap around the boys shoulder and the boy got his hands at her waist. Their faces are only inches away. Inside of me, it's like I want to puke. Then the girls lips connected to the boys lips. That's when I ran to my en suite and puke.
I flash it, and brush my teeth. After I brush my teeth. I walk to my closet and change, I change into basketball tee and a sweat pants. I close window. I walk over to my bed and float my body on my fluffy bed. I sigh.

After about 1 hour of playing video games, a knock of the door interrupt me. It probably be Erick or Jericka.

"Who is it?" I said calmly and I pause the game.

"Hey its me dude." I walk to the door and he's has a small smirk on his face. I gesture him to come in and he walk inside and sat on my bed. I close the door and I seat down beside him.

"So what's up?" breaking the silence.

"I saw you leaving early at the hospital and you look so................... complicated inside out. Is there something wrong dude? You can tell me I'll keep it a secret." Shit. Lie you idiot do you want your brother to get angry at you being a tipsy girly thingy ha? Hey you're right man No don't lie, I'm here ok just face to face with your brother. I don't want his side Heart, I want him to calm down and no problem.

"I'm not feeling so well that time and what do you mean I'm looking so complicated? And there is no probs dude I'm ok just tired and not feeling well. And I don't have secrets." I lied. I feel so guilty to him being so liar to him. That's what you get when you lie to your brother, BRAIN.

"Ok well............you should sleep and Luke is fine just his left leg in a cast, and he's looking for you to thank you and Ashton for being there by his side when he's in the accident. " He explain. I nodded.

"I need some sleep now." He nodded and stood up, he kiss my forehead and walk to my door, unlock it and went outside. I stood up and lock it. I turn off the TV and I walk to my bed and rest, even though I'm not in the mood of sleeping. I'm still thinking what's happening to me. I was like I'm being a...........a.......g-girl. No this won't happen.

I don't want to be a girl again. Yes, I'm a girl back that time but now I change and I hate being a girl, it always gives me a look that boys drolling about, like they saw girl's cleavage or there fucking big ass. And then they do weird Shit in the bedroom and making out everywhere. Jesus there's always a place they could make out with.

And mostly for that...... I don't want to be heart broken again. I turn to be a boy when after I heard that my boyfriend was making out with the the slut of the school. I cried, I went up to him that time and slap both of them. I cursed and spat at them and I slap again and the thats were I drag myself out of the hell and to my room. I didn't come out of my room for 2 months. Yep I didn't go out. Of course I eat, Erick was giving me food everyday. Thats why I love Erick so much.

***

I yawn and I and I climb in my duvets, put some pillow on my thigh so I can sleep easily and I pull over my duvets and I sleep peaceful.