A/N:
I've written this story already, so you guys don't have to worry for slow updates or none at all.
Enjoy!
PS: BBC Merlin is the best thing shaped beside my four fav bands. Like wow, it's amazing
----
And I don't want to say goodbye, someone tell me why. I just want to see the stars with you. - Troye Sivan
✵✵✵
Violet - Monday
"Violet, please!" Lydia knocks on the front door again and sighs. She knows I won't open. I sit in front of the door, legs against my chest and head on my knees. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat and I didn't talk. He cannot be gone, he cannot leave me.
I didn't answer the phone yesterday, not after what I've seen. I won't believe it.
"Violet!" Lydia knocks loudly again and I sigh, wrapping my arms around my head. I looked insane, crazy like a insane person in a alysum. But I didn't care, I'll surely go mad without him.
"Vi..."
"Leave me alone Lydia." My voice was cracky and hoarse, like you'd imagine after a night of crying my eyes out. Gosh I should've answered that phonecall, at least I would've known what happened to him.
What if he still lives?
"I won't Violet, I saw the news. Please say no one called." Her voice held so much pity, she doesn't want Harry to die. Not for me, but not for herself either. Harry is like a big brother to her as much as Niall is a big brother for me. And Harry and Niall are brothers too. Gosh Niall...
"T-They did..." I sigh and fight the tears.
"No..."
"I didn't pick up Lyd." I sob and I hear her sigh. I get up and open the door, Lydia wrapping her arms around me immediately. I cry in her arms and she shushes me.
"You don't know if that was the army Vi, he might be okay." She tells me with a small smile and I nod at her, giving a fake smile. She showes sympathy and wipes me tears.
"You look horrible, have you slept at all?" She asks me worried and I shake my head, looking down at my sock covered feet.
"Go take a shower. I'll make some tea and we'll watch shows and movies through the day." She says with a huge grin and I let out a small genuine laugh, nodding my head. I walk up the stairs and grab some new PJ's, a hoodie and underwear. I won't wear a bra, I'm not in the mood and Lydia doesn't care. I go to the bathroom, putting the shower on and get out of my previous clothing, looking at myself. I'm not that secure about my body, I'm not perfect. I don't have perfect sized boobs or bum, I don't have skinny legs or a toned stomach. But I'm perfect enough for Harry, or so he says. And I trust him in that, he made me love myself.
I get in the shower and brush my fingers through my now even darker hair. I haven't brushed my hair so the knots were very evident. I puff out in frustration and grab the lavendel scented shampoo, putting it in my hand and placing it onto my hair. I massage my scalp with my finger tips and sigh, leaning against the shower wall. I remember the first time we told we loved each other. It wasn't planned, by neither me or Harry. We were in a fight, not a big one though. Just a nervous fight before we were meeting my parents. We were standing outside in the dark, under a burning lamp post. We were going to dinner, but we were led up by Harry's nerves. He didn't want to go and I keep telling him he could do it.
*Flashback*
"I can't do it Vio." Harry rushed and kept pacing around, shaking his head to the ground. He didn't have to be nervous, my parents have no say in our relationship. If they don't like him, shame on them. I won't ever leave him over something stupid.
"Harry, it's okay. Nothing will go wrong, they'll love you."
"I have to impress them Violet, I need them to like me." He breathes and I raise my eyebrow, "Why?"
"Because I love you! Because I love you and I want to marry you someday." He finally admits and I open my mouth to react, but I was speechless. Harry loved me? Me?
"I didn't want to fall in love, not at all. But at some point you smiled and holy shit, I blew it."
"So you don't regret it." I ask silently and Harry smiles warmly, shaking his head and stepping to me.
"Not at all. I just regret I said it so early." He sighs and looks down. I smile at him and place my index finger under his chin, lifting his head so he was looking directly into my eyes.
"I love you too Harry Styles, so much."
*Flashback over*
Gosh, the way he danced and screamed in victory was the best thing ever. He looked like he won an award. But he didn't, he just won my heart and locked it in a vault. And truth is... I don't want it back. It's his and his alone.
"Violet, you're done?" I hear Lydia call for me and I snap out of my thoughts.
"Y-Yeah, almost done!" I reply and quickly finish the shower and shut it. I get out and dry my body and my hair as good as I can, wrapping my hair in the towel. I put the clothes on and walk out the bathroom, smiling weakly at Lydia who was waiting on my bed. I put my towel and dirty clothes in the basket and put my wet hair in a messy bun. I don't have the patience to let it dry normaly. I put some socks on and turn to Lydia.
"So... Shows right?"
"Yes!" She grins and we walk down, seeing Lydia made tea, grabbed a bowl of popcorn and icecream. I smile at her and sit down, grabbing a spoon and the icecream. Chocolate, my favourite. Lydia knows me too well.
"We have Netflix." Lydia tells me and I shrug, putting the spoon in my mouth.
"How about we watch Merlin?"
"I like how you're thinking." She giggles and I smile, taking another bite of the ice.
She almost took my mind of Harry this day.
Almost.
Dear Harry,
I didn't lose hope. I won't lose hope for you, that's something you learned me. When you're in the dark, no way out. Don't lose hope and keep going.
I believe that you're still alive Harry. Because if you die, I'll die with you.
Please be safe...
I love you.
Come Home
Your sincerly, Vio