The Enduring Libero

Chapter 9

The Long Day: Part 1

The next morning I arrived at school way earlier than the rest of the students. Sure, the volleyball players themselves beat me, but I was still earlier than the non sports club students. It was my penance, you could say, for missing the club the previous day. But honestly, I was glad to be there. All that sudden talk of whether I should be there or not had made me want to go all the more. I needed to see and feel whether I should stay, and make sure that I could handle the impulse of wanting to play. On my way there I wondered if that's what I had been doing all along when I begged for the job. Testing out to see if I had a place, or a purpose for staying connected to volleyball outside of actually playing it.
While I didn't want to stop, I also knew that my brother had a point. I had to be reliable in the job that I chose, not wishing the whole time to be playing when I chose not to. As Yuki said, my injury did affect my playing, there was no getting around that. But as Hajimei pointed out, if I really couldn't stand not playing, that is what I should be doing. Not hiding from it in fear. I needed to remember that, and make my decision fast.

At the school I arrived, wearing my navy tracksuit so as not to hurt my uniform before school. Inside the gym, all the players were there, and Ukai was standing by the bench Mr. Takeda usually sat on.

"Good morning Coach." I said, sliding my backpack off.

Coach Ukai glanced in my direction and nodded towards a stack of papers. "Takeda left those for you to organize."

I picked up the stapled papers and smiled. "Thank you."

The coach looked like he wanted to ask me something, but he decided against it and returned his attention back to the team. For a second I waited like an idiot, wondering if he had a job for me. But the coach just ignored me, so eventually I started sorting the paperwork for Mr. Takeda. It took me a while before I had everything in an ordered stack for him. I gave a sigh and sat it down on the bench beside me.

Now what? I thought, looking around the gym. Without Mr. Takeda around, how was I supposed to know what to do? Did he want me to continue taking notes on each player? Or should I see if there was more paperwork for me to do? My eyes skimmed around the gym, taking in the practicing players. They were all working hard in their respective positions to get better and give it their all. At least they knew what they were supposed to be doing, what with an assigned position they could work hard at to excel. What exactly was I doing?

My eyes returned to the court, where the team was practicing their receives. All of the four years needed practice in the area, and even the second year students could be better. The only second year who didn't need help with their receives was Nishinoya. I watched the ball sail straight to him, as if its sole purpose was to provide him with a great receive. I felt satisfied watching it fly unobstructed into the air, spinning over and over again until it was sent back by Ennoshita. Back and forth went the ball, making its signature bouncing sound when it collided with the players' hands.

It returned in its course to Nishinoya, who I continued to watch even after the ball had been thrown back into the air. Perhaps it was silly, but watching his face light up each time the ball came towards him, or the intense focus he possessed, made me happy. A bit of it reminded me of what it was like to play, but another part of it was the delight I had whenever I saw a player with such pure delight in the game. There was something about his joy that made me want to smile and laugh.

I shook my head slightly. I was being a little silly, thinking such things. But hey, it was my honest feeling on the matter, and as my family and friends kept reminding me, I needed to be more confident in my opinions. If I couldn't decide what I needed to do, at least I could be sure of that.