Follow the Green

••

Chapter 2:

June 7
   Please explain diary, why do I have to live with this? Yesterday was a terrible day. My mother made me go apologize to the man. He offered for me to go back to the group, I don't want to go. I can't take those kids! They are all quiet and shy and don't say one word! They are a total turn off for anyone. I find myself daydreaming a lot. I guess it keeps my mind off reality. This diary just leaves me with my thoughts, I like it like this. I don't have to share them with anyone...and nobody will ever find this. I love it.
---------------------------------------------------
     The diary fell to the floor and I grabbed my backpack and ran to catch the bus. Finals week couldn't have come any faster. Schools in session for only 3 hours and we don't even have to go every day. Another phobia I have is Didaskaleinophobia, it's a fear of going to school. Wow I'm a coward but it's hard for me. Kids judge me. They are brutal and I can't be me. Who can be themselves when eyes are peered at you?

    The bus is quiet , it's bright out. The smell of fresh cut grass fills the air. I can see the school beyond the fog. Thank the heavens above that it is over soon.

                                **    **     **
Please report to the gym for examination. It sounds like we are lab rats being tested. I find my seat and the test is handed out. The time is now 7:35, you have a maximum of 3 hours to complete this. We wish all you students the best of luck!
7:55- Let me start by saying, what the hell !
8:03-What am I doing?
8:58-Why is this so hard?
9:25-Why can't I just leave stuff blank?
10:20- Why is the time almost over!

Everyone should be wrapping up their tests. Oh no, why do they have to start collecting now. I wasn't even able to check my checks. What ever, I handed it in and luckily I'm one of the first ones to walk out. There's someone walking toward me but I'm not sure who he is. He's tall with very grass green eyes, a muscular build, and nice brown hair. Wow he's cute, why is he trying to come up to me? When do boys talk to me? I just stand against the wall on my phone, waiting for him to approach me.
  "Hey you're the freakishly smart girl right?" He said with a small grin, in sudden shock I just walked away. How rude could someone be? Why are guys so ignorant? "Hey I didn't mean to sound rude. Come back here"
   "You didn't mean to sound rude? You just said you're the freakishly smart girl. Wow that's a nice label , you really know how to flatter a girl. " I walked away and just got on my bus. He tried to chase me but I just told him to hop off. He was a jerk. Too bad, he was cute and i needed some saving.
    Doesn't this world realize  a compliment from a rude jester? We all bring each other down and we wonder why bullying still occurs. I got off the bus and scurried down the block. The green leaves were so peaceful in the trees. Nature was a key to the earth that I value a lot. Nature can't be mean to you nor hurt you. Unless it's a tornado or a natural disaster but we don't have those over here. I like to pick the leaves off the trees and try to leave a trail, a trail of leaves. But it seems to never work. I wonder what would happen if I collected a bunch over time. Taking four at a time doesn't really work.
   I walked in my house, "Why are you so goddamn stupid?" Of course my parents are fighting again. That's honestly all they ever do. There will never be any peace and stability in my house. I heard a loud bang and my dad screamed pure hell.
...
RUN CYNTHIA RUN, I find myself in a room with a broken vase and my mom in the corner. My dad is abusive and violent. Yea, pretty much the same thing. My dad is approaching my mom angry as hell. He brutally looks vicious. You better back off man, I thought to myself but I don't dare to speak.
      "Let go of me or I'll hurt you too." My dad snapped at me. I was holding him back staring right into his blood shot eyes, they look like pure hell when they're like that.
    In complete disgust I yelled, "Hurt me I could care less you're the only one who's rotting in jail at the end" I always wanted my mom to call the cops but she's too afraid. Why can't he just go? Why can't they just get a divorce? Why do I have to live with this anymore? I held him down with all my might, I'm pretty strong, I don't do any sports but I have my share of work outs.
     He pushed off me and scrammed out the room. My mom needed comfort, something I need but never receive. I got down on my knees and just held her and told her everything was going to be alright. We both knew it wasn't going to be alright, we are going in a downward spiral. How could it get better? My mother picks herself up and walks up to him. We both know this wasn't a good idea but she can't control herself. Her mouth is like a motor, it never stops. "You have some nerv Paavo. You need to leave, I'm done and so is everyone else. How dare you act like an animal in my house"
   Mom what are you doing! My father started slowly getting up and walking toward my mother but she stood there tall and strong, only for now. Wrong move mom, really wrong move.