Unfathomable Truths

Chapter 16

Arizona's POV:

I watched him go into the bathroom. Everything seemed perfect, last night was amazing and I was falling for him. And then it suddenly hit me, "I was falling for him". No, this can't be happening. Loving people only results in heartbreaks and failures and all that kind of weakness. I can't do this feeling thing, I thought I could but this is getting out of hand. I was just trying to help him for my redemption but the thought that I am falling in love is just terrifying. I need to go out, I need to breathe. This is suffocating me.

As I was walking out, I bumped on the table and Josh's wallet fell on the ground. I picked it up and that is when I finally saw her. My past had catched up to me. The thing I was running from, the person I was running from was the person who I was falling in love with. I had taken away his most precious possession from him and he didn't have a clue.

I had killed Lily.

I killed people, that was my job and Lily was a liability. But I had left it 3 years ago. Lily was the last person I had assassinated, and then I had left that life. But that life had come back to haunt me back in my present. No, I can't do this. I can't be near him. I have to go, I have to leave.

I picked up my coat and left his apartment. I visited Jimmy's grave one last time, then I went to my house and packed my things. As I was leaving my father saw me but he didn't stop me. I talked to my bank and they transferred me to Spain.

And now here I am, with my past so close to me. With my mentor so close to me, the one who taught me everything. The one who picked me up after Jimmy's death. I am in the city where it all started. My name was feared, the police feared my methods because no killer could kill someone the way I killed them. That was my power and that was my fame. My pain became my strength, I had no motive. I just killed to quench the thirst inside of me, the thirst that could never be fulfilled. My life had no motive, I was an emotionless puppet. And Josh was changing that, but the killer inside of me was not ready to feel emotions. It was not ready to feel anything except pain. The assassin overpowered the new me and finally I had no choice but to leave and come back. Come back to where the assassin was born.

I get out of my apartment and walk down those familiar streets towards the one destination my mind can't forget even if it tried to. I finally reach my destination as the pungent smell of cigars and cigarettes enters my nostrils.

I knock on the wooden door. After some time it opens and a woman dressed in black appears.

"Que están de vuelta, el asesino de la noche. (You are back, Assassin of the night.)" – She says

"Sí , pero no voy a matar a más. (Yes, but I will not kill anymore.)" – I replied

"Bien. entonces ¿por qué has venido aquí ? (Alright. Then why did you come here?)" – She asked

"Porque tengo que pedirte un favor .Quiero que me des una nueva identificación . el asesino de la noche ya no existe. Arizona es no más. (Because I have a favor to ask. I want you to give me a new identification. The assassin of the night is no more. Arizona is no more.) – I replied

"Sera hecho. Adiós. (It will be done. Goodbye.) – She said and closed the door

I lighted a cigarette and walked towards my apartment. The thing about my life which had always bothered me was that I could never find peace. I always tried to but in the end it all came down to the thing which couldn't let me sleep at night. I finished my cigarette and then lighted another one. The apartment was right around the corner but I chose to go to another place, to the place where it all started.

I enter the empty house, the floorboards creaking beneath my footsteps. I walk up the flight of stairs and enter into the room to the left.

There on the wall is the splash of blood which has now turned black. It was my first murder. I closed my eyes and stabbed her multiple times until she was completely unrecognizable. My methods were sloppy in a way but they were very thorough. After that day it was imposible for me to stop; I killed on command and for money, finally earning the title of "asesino de la noche" (Assassin of the night). But it all started here, my first assignment.

My last assignment was Lily, she was a liabilty. She had seen me murder someone and she knew my name. I had to kill her but she was my last assignment because killing her took its toll on me, I couldn't kill anymore but the rough exterior was still there. Maybe it is imposible to go back to being the caring sister of a little boy anymore. I changed and then I tried to change again but feeling something is exhausting and it cannot be done by me. I am who I chose to be, an emotionless puppet.

This is who I am. This is who I chose to be...

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Author's Note:

Sorry if the grammar sucks, I used google translate for the Spanish as I don't know the language.

Thank you.