i am not pretty

6

"Ella! What have you done?" Mrs Jane said as soon as she saw Ella. She sounded like she was going to cry.

"I shaved my head" Ella said and ran up the stairs.

"Ella are you crazy? No one is going to want some bald girl on the cover of their magazine"  Mrs.Jane said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Wow mom!" Ella said turning around at the top of the stairs.

"All you care about is YOUR dream, Mom. This isn't what i want to be doing, it's what you want. I didn't want long hair, it's you that wanted it. Why are you even crying mom? if anyone's crying it should be me" Ella said. She looked down at the stairs and went into her bedroom. 

Ella placed herself in front of her mirror and stayed staring at herself for hours. I don't know what she was thinking but she seemed happy with herself.

~~~

Ella has school today, she is scared of what everyone was going to think about her.

Ella walked into school and everyone stopped and stared at her, i think some liked it, others were judging. 

"Ella? What the hell have you done?" Jett said coming over to me.

"I got a haircut" Ella smiled. Jett shook his head.

"Why are you smiling? You look like a guy. Shouldn't you be crying? i mean you are pathetic like that" Jett said laughing looking over his shoulders looking at Brittany.

"I stopped crying because I didn't lose you. You lost me."  Ella said and walked away. Ella stopped and turned around.

"Oh and we are over"  She said and continued walking. Ella still looked gorgeous with a bald head but i guess others didn't think the same thing. Ella's whole day was filled with people staring and judging her.

When she got home things weren't any better.

"Ella Darling come down stairs, there is someone i want you to meet" Mrs. Jane shouted. Ella ran down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"This is Emilia, she  is a wigmaker" Mrs. Jane started. Ella shook her head and walked off.

"Sorry about that, i'll just order the long brown"

Ella is so fed up with everything. She decided that once the school year was finished she would move to Australia and live with Tayla. 

The next few hours Ella spent outside talking to Tayla. 

"Ella, you need to go see someone."

"Like who? A therapist?" Ella asked.

"Yeah, look, i think it'll do you good" 

Ella agreed and once she was back at home she googled a few different places. She chose one and booked herself an appointment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is the last day of the last week of school. Ella couldn't be anymore excited. She has visited the therapist a few times and it hasn't necessarily helped. 

She has been bullied, because she is bold. Ella loves this look but everyone is just so cruel about it.

The other day in class Ella accidentally walked into one of the boys and apologised as soon as she had done it but that wasn't enough. 

"Ew don't touch me you little freak."

"Oh yeah because you can talk" Ella answered back.

"Look at you, you're disgusting. What are you? You're a girl but you're trying to be a boy" 

This isn't the first time Ella had been teased about looking like a boy, it's happened for a while now.

If she kept talking back she'd get hit. And then hit by someone else because their friend had to hit her. It wasn't fair.

Ella hurts herself. Not physically, she would never cut or do anything suicidal but mentally. All these thoughts flow through her head, day and night.

When Ella gets home from school she goes straight upstairs and sits there in silence. She likes it that way. No modeling, no teasing and no Jett.