I never knew what it was like to wake up and just be excited for the day to come and to feel like you have people actually there, who actually cared and never betrayed you. I always woke up upset and just down. Yes, I do have a family, My Mom (Diana), My Dad (Adam) and an older brother (Tom) but I never felt as if I was close to them.. Like it was just them three always doing things together and I was just forgotten. They never seemed to care.
They heard me crying at 3am and still no knock on the door from them saying everything will be okay and such and such. I don't know why I'm always upset. I feel as if the worlds against me and it's just me vs the world. It throws pain, sadness, guilt and I'm left there alone facing the emotions that devastate me more.
2 Months Later
Well that's a new record Mom actually woke me up this morning saying she loves me and gave me a bar of chocolate.. For once I actually felt less sad. We sat down for about thirty minutes and she asked me loads of questions. She asked "Melissa, why do you always seem so sad" and I replied "Something isn't right. I wake up crying. No one seems to care. It's me against the world. No ones ever here. I have no friends. I'm useless." My Mom replies "Darling, I know I haven't been there for you. But I love you so much. I'm never here because I'm the one who feels unwanted. I thought you liked your personal space. And this morning I wanted to tell you. I'm always going to be here" I started crying, not because I was sad for once.. Because I actually felt as if I was worth someone's time.
