The Italian Delight

eight

Marco was shaking from the aftershocks of pleasure he just experienced thanks to his friend's mouth, the drops of his cum disappearing down John's throat.

He sat down, shaking, the realisation of what has happened making his stomach twist in a beautiful way.

It was unlikely anything he has ever experienced.

John sat right next to his shaken body, placing his hand on Marco's thigh gently, shootingly caressing the trembling flesh.

He wanted him to feel safe.
He wanted him to know maybe once this could be right.

Marco was still trying to catch his breath, his eyes started to fill up with fresh tears as John carefully embraced him, his breath tickling against the sensitive skin of Marco's neck.

"Do you think... Are we...?"

Boyfriends.

Such a heavy word burning down Marco's tongue, as he couldn't get himself to say it.
There's John's lips brushing his neck, for god's sake.
In his bed.

"Have you thought about breaking up with Soph? I mean I'm glad you know I love you, but-"
"Please don't. Not now. Please, she can't ruin this moment for us. Hugging you feels too good to be forgotten."

Something about the way Marco's naked body shivered next to John's was making John want more.
Was making him want everything.
Was it okay to want that much from a frightened boy's fragile body?

For some reason, John didn't see just the bare skin of his quiet friend.
He saw a boy experiencing being cared for.

his first time being cared for.

He saw a boy who had no-one to trust to when he needed, whose mind was slowly opening to the idea of love.

Marco's warm tears were falling onto John's chest, his sobs muffed in the smoothness of John's skin.

Both of them wanted to speak, neither of them said anything.

For Marco, this was simply too much.

For Marco, the boy who's always been afraid to be too much while being too little, it seemed to be unbelievable to lay in someone's arms.

To stay weak while being held.

The weakness, pouring from these brown eyes, was respected.

The vulnerability combined with the warmth spreading in his heart was making him snuggle closer, as John's hands gently caressed his back.

"You're beautiful, Marc"

The quiet whisper hitting Marco's ears made him chuckle through the tears, finally letting himself connect their eyes again.
Finally letting himself drown in the eyes as blue as the sky on the brightest spring day.

John couldn't help but smile as Marco lifted up his gaze.

Smiling while noticing it all.

The way these lips parted a little.
The way he wanted to look away, but didn't.
The way he was completely trusting with his bare soul and body.
The way his breathing got heavier the moment John's caring fingers found the skin of his cheek.
The way he stabbed these brown eyes down as John's thumb pressed against his lips.

"You don't have to be shy, Marc. Even though you're sweet, you need to understand you look absolutely perfect, okay? Fuck, I wish I was a girl when I see you. I wish I could have a boyfriend like you."

John's voice was rough with both admiration and desperation.

"Jon, please-"

"Too much?"

"Not that, just... Yeah, too much"

So John just wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.

"We're gonna get through this, okay?"

Marco didn't know if he agreed.
If he wanted to agree.
He was starting to get overwhelmed again.

His heart rate accelerating, his head suddenly dizzy, his mouth gasping for air, his eyes wide open.

He was there, staring into nothing, the world tilting around him, fresh tears burning in his eyes.

It wasn't the first time John has seen Marco like this, nonetheless the last time he has felt like forever ago.
So he did what he had to do.

He helped Marco to dress up, placed his body into bed and brought him a glass of water.
Basically exactly what he used to do when they were younger.

Except for the first part.

He was feeling beyond unaware, much more unaware than he would like to admit.
He has always been trying to make sure Marco could finally find a house where he would feel secure and cared for, but now, when Marco breaks down at that place, it made him ask himself if Marco actually did feel secure and cared for.

So many questions flying around in John's mind, all of them about what caused this and what can he do to help.

So many questions and no answers, because even though he didn't exactly know how to help Marco, he knew that any form of physical touch would only stress him even more.

He would try to hug him.

To hold his now clothed body without any unsettling intentions, just really hoping it would help, but he knew that any touch could make the situation unbearable for both of them.

He didn't want to think about it, but he knew he wouldn't be the first person to touch Marco while he's crying. While he's breaking down.

Probably the first person touching him tenderly, trying to repair something that has been forgotten and rotting in the middle of a soul of a little boy who wanted to be a good son.

"Shhh I've got you, just breathe it through, okay? You're doing great, just breathe with me"
John whispered as quietly as he could, desperately trying to calm the shaking pile of fear down.

The way these brown, terrified eyes were stabbed into the ground, shimmering under the layer of warm tears.
The way the blue evening light reflected on those trembling shoulders.
The way his lips parted trying to take a breath, as he was told to.

It all was breaking John's heart into shreds.

"Please... Don't..."

"Don't what, Marc? Come on, I'm here with you, okay? Tell me what you mean"

He was paying attention to keeping his voice low and stern, but not unkind.
It made sense to him that if the circumstances were already overwhelming enough for someone to cry, there's no need to make it even worse.

"I'm sorry, just please don't leave..."

The sobs were cutting through his words, his voice shaking just as his lips.
He didn't like the feeling of being this vulnerable, even though he knew John wouldn't use it against him.
After all, that was why he would beg him to stay.
Even though he felt even more pathetic when he did so.

"Marc, I'm not going anywhere, I'm here, okay? Do you maybe... Would you want to stay the night?"

He has always believed in respect, especially in relationships. He had always believed in communication.
But this time, he hoped for Marco to say he'd stay.
He would understand if the answer was a no, even though, he prayed it wouldn't be.

Maybe because it could imply that the trust he was trying to earn from Marco was finally growing.
Maybe simply because he really wanted a boy he found himself interesting in sleeping next to him.

Despite his hopes, he was convinced Marco's fear would fuel the choice into doubts and overthinking.
Which would lead to a no.

"Could I?"