𝐂𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ━ peter parker

xiv. "commitment-phobe extraordinaire"

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DICK STRETCHED HIS arms over his head, feeling that pop in his shoulders like an overdue reward. Patrols had been an absolute grind lately - a never-ending, mind-numbing loop of too-quiet nights and Batman's latest lectures on "unnecessary risks". The kind that left Robin squirming in the passenger seat of the batmobile, his conscience pinned by the intense dad stare that Bruce had begun developing.

Really, it wasn't his fault that he'd been the purveyor of a rather underwhelming flip-and-slide whilst putting Freeze back in his ice palace. If anything, Dick blamed Arkham. All of Bruce's funding was obviously being funnelled straight into the doctor's sub-zero cell. And, if you really looked at it (and perhaps squinted a little in a show of good-will), it was Batman's fault. Robin had outgrown his cold-weather gear a while ago. The billionaire was cheaping out on him.

Dick's escrima sticks clattered to the floor of the batcave as he peeled off his mask, blinking away the sticky remnants of his night vision lenses. The Bat was still out there somewhere sticking it to justice, but the ol' boy-wonder had been forced to call it quits at the bright and early hour of 2am. School night or not, it was dumb.

"You looked good out there, Dick. One might even say cool."

He scowled over at Oracle, her face darkened by the nauseatingly luminous backdrop of supercomputers and code. Ugh. The batcomputer terminals were almost as insufferable as the smirk plastered across the girl's face.

"What do you want, Babs?" Dick sighed, kicking one of his sturdy boots off towards her. It hit the spokes of her wheelchair with a lame thud of rubber-on-plastic violence.

"Oh, nothing." Barbara's eyes danced with mirth behind her glasses. She chucked a gym towel towards his face. "Just appreciating the view before your bug boy says I'm not allowed."

Dick's brow furrowed as he swiped the towel through his sweaty hair. "My what?"

"You heard me," she sing-songed, idly wheeling towards him. "Though I suppose I should really be calling him your spider-babe, huh? More accurate."

"Stop being weird."

"I'm not being weird," Barbara defended. She was the picture of innocence as she leaned over him, arms resting in her lap as she grinned. "You know what is weird? The fact that you, Richard Grayson - commitment-phobe extraordinaire - have managed to snag yourself a very public, very cute boyfriend. And didn't tell me."

"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be all creepy about it," Dick hissed quickly. He scrambled to his feet, pointing an accusing finger towards her. "And, by the way, I am not a- a commitment-phobe. It's just complicated!"

The scoffing noise that escaped the red-head made Dick's ears ring. He'd have rather been punched in the face than be forced to sit through this. Like, sure. Maybe he hadn't told her face-to-face that he'd 'gotten a boyfriend', and maybe she'd found out through Alfred instead. So what?

"It's really not that complicated. The entire internet saw the photos from that premier you visited last week."

"You believe everything you see on the internet?" Dick sighed, wagging his foot back and forth to get his other boot off. He leant against the back of Barbara's wheelchair for stability. "I thought you were smart."

"Of course not. But I believe your text logs-"

Dick scoffed. "Ew, Barbara. Perv."

"You were being coy! What else was I supposed to do?"

"Uh, maybe not spy on team communications? Even if you are an admin?"

Oracle let out a quiet huff of amusement. "Relax. Like you wouldn't have done the same if you saw my name pop up in the alerts."