Slipknot's Daughter

Chapter 13

Finally, it was the day of the concert. Corey, the guys and I had been practicing for three days in preparation. I was extremely nervous as I get dressed, fussing with my hair and makeup more than needed. I took so long that Corey had to come into my room and 'escort' me (a.k.a drag) me into the hallway).
Everyone else gathers outside and we huddle together.
"All right, guys, opening night. Let's kick it off with a bang, shall we?" Corey says encouragingly. "This is our night, so let's make it memorable."
Chris adds, "By the way, there will be Red Bulls and Monsters backstage if anyone needs them."
With that, we put our hands in a circle. Everyone leans in as Shawn shouts, "On three, 'Fuck Craig's gloves!' One, two, three-"
"FUCK CRAIG'S GLOVES!!" we all cheer.
Craig shakes his head.
Then we all turn and tromp downstairs, on our way to the stage.
When we arrive, I grab a Monster and crack it open, taking a small sip. I listen to the screaming fans and attempt to breathe correctly.
Gradually, with more sips of Monster, my nervousness turns into excitement, and I look to Corey.
"Ready?" he asks.
I nod, grinning. "Ready," I reply, taking one last sip and setting the can down. "Remember, the first song is 'Psychosocial',"he says.
I nod. Then Corey turns and takes his microphone, and everyone else grabs their stuff. I also grab a mic.
Suddenly, Corey and the others start running onstage, so I run after them.
I hear Corey yell, "GERMANY! HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT, YOU CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!?!?!"
The audience screams approval in return. Corey turns to me and waves me over.
Turning back to the crowd, he calls out, "I want to introduce someone to you. This is the newest member of Slipknot, Colleen, or .15. Could you all welcome her, please?"
The whoops and applause that greet me make me blush a little under my mask. "What's up, Germany!?!! You ready for some crazy shit?!!" I holler.
Everyone yelled, "YES!!"
"Well, fuck, then! Let's... Get... Psycho... Fucking... SOCIAL!!!" I scream.
Mick starts playing the opening chords. The audience shrieks in excitement and starts jumping up and down. I see a few slam pits begin circling in the crowd, and I grin.
Corey begins screaming:
I DID MY TIME! And I want out!
So effusive, FADE! IT DOESN'T CUT! THE SOUL IS NOT SO VIBRANT!
THE RECKONING! THE SICKENING!
PACKAGING SUBVERSION, PSUEDO-SACROSANCT PERVERSION!
GO DRILL YOUR DESERTS, GO DIG YOUR GRAVES!
THEN FILL YOUR MOUTH WITH ALL THE MONEY YOU WILL SAVE!!
SINKING IN, GETTING SMALLER AGAIN! I'M DONE! IT HAS BEGUN!
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!
I join him in singing the chorus:
And the rain will kill us all, we throw ourselves against the wall.
But no one else can see, the preservation of the martyr in me...
PSYCHOSOCIAL!
PSYCHOSOCIAL!
PSYCHOSOCIAL!
PSYCHOSOCIAL!
PSYCHOSOCIAL!
PSYCHOSOCIAL!!
The audience sing the lyrics along with him. The adrenaline was everywhere; crackling in the air, flowing in my veins, spraying out of Mick's and Jim's guitars... I was loving every minute of it.
The band plays Killpop, Left Behind, and The Heretic Anthem before it was time for me to sing.
Corey announces, "All right, guys. Colleen is going to go solo on this next one. Put your hands together for her!" The crowd cheers, welcoming me onstage. I shyly move to the front of the stage and sit down, my legs dangling over the side. A few catcalls and whistles sound from the crowd, but Corey silences them with a wave of his hand. Jim softly begins to play, and I sway a little to the beat.
Lifting the microphone to my lips, I begin to sing.
He seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame.
All the torment and the pain, leaked through and covered me.
I'd do anything to have him to myself... Just to have him for myself...
Now I don't know what to do...
I  don't know what to do... When he makes me sad...
He is everything to me, the unrequited dream... The song that no one sings... The unattainable.
He's a myth that I have to believe in, all I need to make it real, is one more reason...
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, when he makes me sad...
But I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me...
By now, the audience was silently swaying along with me. A soothing feeling settles in, and I see the light of a few phone screens waving in the distance. I slowly stand up and begin pacing back and forth across the stage, continuing.
A catch in my throat, choke, torn into pieces...
I won't, no, I don't wanna be this, but I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me...
He... Isn't real...
I, can't, make him real...
He... Isn't real...
I can't make him real...
Craig finishes the song on his piano, and I smile softly at the audience. "Thank you," I murmur into my microphone. The audience was silent for a moment.
Then it erupts into wild screams, furious clapping, and piercing whistles of approval.
A huge smile spreads across my face as I lift my hands to the audience. "Thank you! Thank you so much, Germany!" I shout.
The crowd roars in response, and I giggle.
Corey appears next to me, grinning. "Well, fuck," he laughs, "I think we have a new vocalist up in here!" He hugs me and whispers, "You killed it, Col. Great job."
"Thanks, Dad," I reply quietly.
He pulls back and looks at me quizzically. "You called me Dad," he says.
I nod. "And?" I ask.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I swore I saw Corey's ears turn pink with a blush. "N-nothing," he mutters. "That just... It means a lot to me, Col. Thank you."
I smile at him.
He clears his throat in embarrassment and turns to the crowd.
I laugh happily, and I feel the love for my father, for all of Slipknot, for the fans, for everything about tonight well up and transform into energy. I wanted to give the audience and Corey the best concert they had been a part of.
They deserved it.
The guys begin playing 'The Devil In I', and I join Corey in singing the verses.
The night got on, and finally, Mick begins playing the opening chords for the final song, 'Spit It Out'.
I start jumping up and down, waving to the audience to join me, which they did enthusiastically. The crowd screams with approval when Corey begins to rap.
Since you never gave a damn in the first place, maybe it's time you had the tables turned
'Cause in the interest of all involved, I got the problem solved, and the verdict is guilty...
...MAN NEARLY KILLED ME! Steppin' where you fear to tread,
Stop, drop and roll! You were dead from the get-go!
Big mouthfucker, stupid cocksucker! And if you're scared of me now, then you're dumber than I thought.
Always is and never was, foundation made of piss and vinegar, step to me, I'll smear ya!
Think I fear ya? Bullshit! Just another dumb punk chompin' at this tit!
Is there another way to break through the noise? Was it something that I said that got you bent?
Gotta be if you want it, sanity, literal profanity, hit me!
SPIT! IT OUT! All you wanna do is drag me down! All I wanna do is stamp you out!
SPIT! IT OUT! All you wanna do is drag me down! All I wanna do is stamp you out!
The crowd was bouncing up and down to the beat and screaming the lyrics of the chorus back at Corey. I was smiling crazily. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Shawn running around like a madman.
He turns and barrels toward me, and before I could move out of the way, he swoops me up into a bear hug and squeezes me tightly.
I wriggle around in his grasp, trying to escape and laughing madly. He sets me down and runs toward Chris.
As the song draws to a close, Corey gathers the crowd's attention. "All right, everyone. You all know what time it is." I look over at him, an excited smile spreading across my face. I knew exactly what was coming.
Corey kneels on the stage as he continues: "I need all of you crazy motherfuckers to kneel down... On the fucking ground... Right... Now."
I look over the crowd and see person after person kneeling.
In the background, Mick was continuing the ending riff.
"Now. Colleen is going to do the third verse, so when she says 'Jump the fuck up', what are you going to do?" Corey asks the audience.
I hear a few people holler, "Jump the fuck up!"
Grinning, Corey says, "That's right. But not yet. Not yet." He stands back up, moving back toward the center of the stage as he says, "Not until she says 'Jump the fuck up.' Not until she says, 'Jump the fuck up.' Is that clear, you crazy bitches!?"
Screams and hollers of confirmation answer him.
"Then, on her signal, unleash hell. Col?" I look over at him and smile.
"Take us home." Corey says.
I nod, then look out at the crowd. Lifting my mic to my lips, I begin the third verse.
'Bout time I set this record straight, all this needlenose punching is makin' me irate,
Sick of my bitching falling on deaf ears, where ya gonna be in sixteen years?
The crew and all the fools, and all the politics, get your lips ready, gonna gag, gonna make you sick!
You got dick when you passed out the good stuff, BAM! Are you sick of me now? Good enough, NOW JUMP THE FUCK UP!
The crowd leaps to their feet, jumping up and down to the beat as everyone joins in:
FUCK ME! I'M ALL OUT OF ENEMIES!
FUCK ME! I'M ALL OUT OF ENEMIES!
FUCK ME! I'M ALL OUT OF ENEMIES!
FUCK ME, I'M ALL OUT OF ENEMIEEEES!
SPIT, IT OUT, ALL YOU WANNA DO IS DRAG ME DOWN, ALL I WANNA DO IS STAMP YOU OUT!
SPIT, IT OUT, ALL YOU WANNA DO IS DRAG ME DOWN, ALL I WANNA DO IS SMASH YOU OUT!!
SPIT, SPIT, SPIT, IT OUT!!