They Call It Depression {edited}

Chapter Seven

Since Nathan has only met my parents a few times, he decides to come to St. Louis with me, so he can get to know them a little better before the big day.

On our third day there, we take some time off from being with my parents to go on a fancy date.

"Do you want to get some wine to drink?" Nathan asks me.

"That would be lovely," I say. I haven't had a nice glass of wine in awhile.

- - -

I used to be a drunk. After the abortion, I became super depressed and I drank heavily. When I was at home, it was always vodka so my parents wouldn't smell it on my breath. But at parties, I'd drink at least five Miller Lites, usually more.

I remember my first party. I'd been to Sweet Sixteens and countless birthday parties before, but it was never the kind where people got drunk and stuff.

I was nervous at first. I wondered what people would think of me, if they'd tease me about being pregnant. I hadn't told anyone about the abortion yet.

But I put on the sexiest thing I owned and snuck out of the house at 11:00. My parents were the kind who went to bed early, at like 9:30 or ten, so I was good to go. Plus, they slept through just about anything, so I knew they wouldn't hear me slip out the front door.

A friend of mine came to pick me up. She was more of an acquaintance, but since losing Jessica and Emily, I'd yet to trust anyone enough to make new best friends. Her name was Cassie; she was in my English class, and we sometimes ate lunch together. She had dyed-red hair, pale skin, and a piercing between her nostrils.

"You look hot," she told me.

"Thanks, but I've got no one to impress. I already have a boyfriend."

"Boyfriend, shmoyfriend," she said, waving it off as if Brandon didn't even matter. "At parties, it's all about image. If people know you have a boyfriend, they won't want to hook up with you."

"Good. I'm a loyal girlfriend; I'm not going so I can find a new guy."

"Then why'd you wear that sexy shirt?"

"I thought this was what everyone wore to parties," I said honestly. After all, I'd never been to one. How was I supposed to know?

"Hang with me, and you'll be fine. I'll make sure people like you."

"Thanks, Cassie."

When we got to the party, there were people everywhere drinking out of red solo cups. "Let's go get a beer," Cassie said.

I followed her to the cooler and she pulled out two Miller Lites. "This stuff's the best. You've got to try it," she said.

I'd never had a beer before and I didn't know what to say. But I didn't want to look stupid, and besides, I'd never really been against drinking. So I twisted off the cap and took a quick swig. It burned going down my throat, but tasted good otherwise. It was both exciting ad relaxing at the same time. I took another drink, and another. Before I knew it, I'd had two bottles and was feeling a bit woozy.

"Come on, let's go see what the others are doing," Cassie suggested.

I followed her downstairs, where a bunch of teenagers were crowded around a pool table. A few of them glanced up at us, but most of them were so engrossed in the game that they didn't even notice we'd walked in. We joined their circle and watched the people playing pool.

Cassie's eyes were fixed on one of them. He had dark hair, tattoos, and piercings. I didn't find him that attractive, but he was definitely her type. He kept scoring points, and soon, he won the game. Cassie cheered for him, along with most of the other kids.