Cash Money

Going Back to the Bank

You went back to the bank the next day, as you said you would. This time around, you were armed with an aluminum baseball bat and a plastic trashbag for the money. You considered using the baseball bat to break down the door, but you decided againsy it since you didn't want to spend the money you were abt to steal on a new glass door for the bank.
The first thing you saw when you entered the bank was an overweight man eating a bag of potata chip and sitting on the couch. He was wearing a pink shirt and white pants as he had an ugly undercut haircut. He looked angry. But once he saw you and your baseball bat, his eyes widened in fear and jumped off the couch and crawled to the oterside of the bank of Ameria. "Please don't hurt me please don't hurt me please don't hurt me please don't..." was all he said, over and over and over until you got tired of hearing the sound of his voice and threw your baseball bat at Miluki. The metal bat his the large man in the pink shirt ad white pants and he was knocked unconscious. He was out cold. For good. But he wasn't dead or anything. Just out cold.
You heard clapping come from the bank teller place. You turned and saw Hisoka, applauding. "Why are you clapping? Stop that."
"I'm so~oooo~ glad you came back~," he said, pleased. But he didn't stop. He kept clapping and clapping and clapping. He was proud, probably. "That was pretty impressive~ The way you threw that aluminum baseball bat and all~ Pretty cool~ Cool~."
You scratched the back of your head as you went over to the unconscious dude who was covered in potatos chips crumbs to retrieve your bat. "Thanks I guess. Can you give me the money now?"
Hisoka was typing up some important info in the bank desktop and didn't reply right away. He was struggling to type because his fingernails are ridiculously long. Then he looked up at you through the bullet-proof glass that separated him from the outside world and you and he said, "No, sorry."
The moment he finished his sentece, you threw the aluminum baseball bat at the bullet proof glass he was behind. It made a loud 'boom' sound when it made contact with the bullet proof window. Hisoka didn't even flinch tho, he was a hard mf, real af, he wasn't even fazed tho, still grinnin, smokin on that blunt even though he was in a bank and working in said bank. "Okay..." his voice trailed off. "So is there anything else I can do you for today?"
The loud boom sound startled the obese man in the back of the bank so much that he regained consiousness and got up and ran out and away from the bank, leaving a trail of potato chip crumbs behind him. You and Hisoka watched this silently. Then you heard him sigh, and he walked through the window with a broom and a dustpan so he could clean up the mess. You watched Hisoka clean up the mess.
Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in your head. Not a real one, but you had an idea. Now's my chance..!
"Hey um...clown man--"
"I'm not a clown sweetie:)" Hisoka snapped, turning around and looking directly at you when you said this. He was offended that you called him a clown even though he dresses like a clown and wears clown shoes and clown makeup. But whatever.
"Oh, s-sorry...man?...do you happen to know where the paper money and gold coins in this bank are kept?" you asked.
He swept up the chip crumbs before answering, "Second floor~."
"Ah...where exactly on the second floor?"
The clown man--er, Hisoka returned behind the bullet proof window and started counting some paper money just for the heck of it. I get it. He's taunting me...! Taunting me with all this paper money he knows I don't have!
He was currently counting a stack of $100 bills.
Bastard...!
While nonchalantly sorting through the stack of high value paper cash money, he replied, "In the big vault~."
You smiled externally, happy with this information. "Thanks!"
He nodded as he finished counting the stack. "Mhmm~ I hope you aren't planning to steal it..."
Hah hah! Of course I'm gonna steal it!
"...you won't make it far if you stuff it all in THAT thing~," he finished, pointing the blue pen he held at your plastic trash bag.
You looked down at your plastic trash bag, hurt and offended by his words. "What's wrong with my plastic trash bag? I could probably fit a ton of paper money in this."
The redhead shook his head, disappointed almost. "No no no..." he muttered to himself. "The weight capacity for a good plastic trash bag is 10 pounds. Assuming you brought a cheap one here, let's say that one's is 5 pounds. Do you know how much money you can store in a 5 pound bag?"
You set your baseball bat on your shoulder. "Uh...5 pounds worth of money?"
"I'm talkin monetary amounts, sweetie."
Shit, I don't know. I would guess a lot, but judging by the tone of his voice...probably not much.
"I don't know then."
"Five $1 bills~."
You hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Do they have to be $1 bills?"
"Yes~."
"Why can't I just take five $100 bills?"
"Well~ $100 bills are worth 100 times as much as $1 bills, so they weigh 100 times as much as well~."
Shit, that makes sense.
You crumpled up your cheap plastic bag and slam dunked it into the bank ttrash can inside the bank. As you were about to storm off and leave the bank, you were stopped by Hisoka, kinda.
"I understand your frustration~ leaving is a good choice, as it would be a waste of time to steal $5 in total from the bank~ try again next weekend, when I'm here again, okay~?"
You huffed, spinning on your heel and pushing through the door, aluminum baseball bat still on your shoulder. "Yeah, yeah."

a/n: updated this bc i can't bring myself to update groceries,, drop some fresh comments tho thankx