The Boy with Bad Habits

Chapter 2

I hated mirrors. Everytime I looked in one I saw a sad, tired, red-eyed, lowlife.

Never calling it depression, I called it the truth. I wasn't prepared for what had happened to me six months before.
This is coming from someone who had never suffered heartache either, there's a first time for everything I guess.

Rachel was my addiction. All I needed was someone to understand me, and listen to me, not judge me.

I didn't want to believe that everything was just an act between me and her. Or that my very own best friend set it up. His lack of understanding for everything always made it hard for me to get the basis of our friendship, but he was all I had.

Just wanted someone to talk to. Someone to relate to, without the pity. Had it been too much to ask for?

Furthermore, getting the news that our land lord was going to kick us out of our apartment was not a surprise.

Nonna told me the day I had made a drop of weed for some debt that I had owed. Of course I didn't always have the money to buy it. Always I'd buy it in eighths, which is typically for 2-4 people at a time. Costing me about 40 bucks, but it lasted me the whole weekend.

Normally, I had gotten drugs from the money earned street fighting. Stealing was usually what I'd go with since Nonna noticed the bruises and cuts when she saw the damage. They cheated me half of the time when it came to my end of the bargain anyway. I didn't get hurt too bad when it came to street fights, gramps had taught me a few things that came in handy more and more later on.

Selling a lot of my things for alcohol was the normal, explaining why I didn't really have much to pack. Turned out my Grandfather let us stay with him. He of course is on my dad's side whereas Nonna is on my mother's.

She didn't like him very much, which made sense by me only seeing him during the summer. Unlike Nonna, grampa had a hot temper. His personality reminds me of a wolf. Sure, you could try to domesticate it, but most of the time it's a pick or chose type of deal. His attitude towards you is chosen only by how you respect him and treat others.

He lived in Virginia, which is much more different than New York. Any way to get me away from Manhattan was fine by me though. Virginia is more agricultural than anything. That's what gramps always liked about it. The soothing sounds of silence, with nothing but the fresh air and corn fields.

He wasn't one for the high life or a lavish lifestyle. I'm kind of like him in a way but then again I need noise to keep me from thinking too much.

Thankfully grampa had sent us money to purchase the tickets. No way in hell we could've afforded it. Like I said before I didn't have much to pack, niether did Nonna since living in the slums had robberies left and right. Nothing much we could have done.

Honestly, besides Jared I didn't have 'friends' and since he was gone I didn't really have anyone to say goodbye to. Except for maybe my drug dealer Robby. He wasn't too happy since I was one of his best customers.

Robby had always been the intimidating type, so I made sure to keep my distance. Only going to him to feed the monster that had been haunting me with multiple flashbacks and such.

The 'monster' as I like to call it is the part in my brain where I saw every sickening image of me and Rachel. Whether it'd be in bed with her lying on my bare chest after showing how much I truly cared for her. Or her softly humming when she'd attempt to make lasagna but it coming out as a mess afterwards.

Those moments always had me wishing it could still be that way somehow.

Even though she put me through hell, part of me still will be forever grateful for the good times we did have. Rachel taught me a lot in those five months, and that was freedom. She taught me how to let loose and live my life in the most extreme ways possible.

The other part of me just resented her with so much rage it's unbearable. Humiliation is something that you never want to feel. And she made me bear it without a hint of remorse.

Even though she most likely had left by then I was glad to leave New York. Kind of like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except my heart stayed with a girl who never gave a shit about me, so she said.

Nonna and I didn't have trouble going through all of the airport procedures. I had managed to get in a few gulps of vodka to make me slightly tipsy. Didn't take long.

The whole getting on the plane and flying ordeal went by in a blur. It just felt uncomfortable. I took a nap for the hour and 12 minutes we flew. Visiting Grampa in the summer did come in handy, so I didn't really freak out about the turbulence.

Although Nonna and I wanted to drive, he insisted. Pretty pointless to me, but it was his money.

We collected our things after arriving. I was pretty tired and worn out.

Finally we saw grampa.

Gramps was a stocky guy for his age which is his early 70s.

One of the first things he'd say to me in his raspy voice is "Welcome to Hanover."

And everytime he said it, I could only retort under my breath with, "Welcome to Hell."

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Happy New Year!!!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! My plan is to update within the time frame of five days. Maybe? I don't know, but other than that if you have any advice or thoughts on TBWBH please share them with me! Don't be shy!

xoxo

Brianna

ALSO FYI - the song I used for this chapter by Zayn is dedicated to Ace's and Rachel's Relationship. If you really want to understand it, that song pertains to it entirely. So please do listen. One of my fave songs by the way...