The Boy with Bad Habits

Chapter 20

My eyes romed looking for her. I knew she was somewhere around here.

My location was unkown, just an endless hallway with thousands of doors going down it.

"Where are you?"

Quietly I heard, "Over here!"

Turning my head, "No over here!"

"Wrong, way...."

Finally, a sight before me, the silhouette of a tall woman, someone too familiar at the end of the corridor.

The outline of darkness coming closer, her words blowing softly in to my ear, "You will forever be a slave."

Slave of what?

The piercing pain of a sharp object goes straight to my chest. It was faint but hurt deeply. A crimson liquid poured from the knife.

Looking back up from the wound, icy blue eyes appeared. Looking directly at me, "I thought you loved me Ace, I thought you loved me," sobbing gingerly.

Echoing and repeating in my head, the shadow vanished; no longer looking like the person I knew. Slowly I yelled the words, "I do you love you! I will always love you Rachel, always! Why did you leave me, why did you leave me..."

The blade disappeared, as did the red fluid.

My knees sank to the ground as both eyes welled with tears.

Suddenly every flashback, every moment, and every memory flickered before my eyes rapidly.

Hollers filled the air to stop, they were mine.

I couldn't take it. The last haunting image was the once love of my life walking by the seashore. The sun retreating over the ocean, casting gorgeous rays upon her face, holding hands with the only friend I had—Jared.

A betraying tear ran down my face until low cries followed.

~

Inhaling quickly, panting loudly, cold sweat dripped down my back and along my brows.

Letting out a breath. I needed air, both eyes were dewy and the moisture all over me felt extremely uncomfortable.

The dream, no nightmare felt real, the hurt in my heart almost unbearable after suchlike trauma.

Both feet hit the carpet. It had been hard to breath. Like an elephant on my chest, down right suffocating. I ran each hand through every dark strand of hair on my head. I wanted to stream out every bit of frustration and grief within me.

On the edge of the bed, I notice the pack of cigarettes on my small plastic bin (night stand in other words).

Her words said over and over again. I thought you loved me Ace.

Had it been true? Did she know I loved her even though it was left unsaid? Did my actions show it?

Would things have been different if I had told Rachel? How much the antagonizing wench meant to me in the first place.

The pack of smokes were picked up in an instant.

Muttering, "Fuck it." I lifted myself off of the bed, but dots clouded my vision, dizzying me.

Sleeping on an empty stomach, idiot move. Feeling weak, the thought of food sounded like a good idea.

Contradicting myself, I lit the cigarette anyway. Going to my window and airing out fog of poison from the stick of angst in my hand.

Elbows on the ledge of the window, October breeze blew in my hair drying some of the sweat.

Flicking the ash and exhaling, the pounding I heard from my chest wouldn't stop. Thoughts consumed me on the horrid illusion. Such a realistic dream, so unsettling and hurtful.

Would Rachel have grown a heart, had she known?

The night sky had no moon, just a garden full of stars. Shining brightly, a light mist shown above me. Realizing the fag had burned down, I flicked it out of the window.

My naked back still was tense going back down on the mattress. Steadily a noise heard, looking down noticing it's my stomach. Standing up, my feet led me to the door as the cold knob touched the center palm of my hand turning.

An eerie noise called from the door. I prayed to God Nonna wouldn't wake up. She's just as much a light sleeper as I am, which included the smallest of sounds could wake us both up.

I walked without so much as a squeek.

Going to the living room, I noticed soft snores coming from the couch. Nonna must've thought I'd sneak out an took refuge on it while layed across thrush cushions with a spongebob cover. It'd been the same one I had growing up. Shocker that she still kept it.

Every room had been dimly lit by a candle Nonna most likely contributed to.

Opening the fridge, I notice some more food was stocked and smiled. My grandmother wasn't rich but she still made it happen.

After closing the door and grabbing one piece of bologna, cheese, and two slices of bread my hunger increased slightly.

Growling again, my stomach reminded me of my hunger.

"I expect you to high tail it back to your room. Your open house is tomorrow." Nonna was half asleep but somehow found me out.

And surely I did, frantically moving back to the room. The woman scared the hell out of me, thinking she was knocked out the whole time.

Click, the sound my door made as I closed it. Open house, really. Putting the sandwich together and sitting on the bed made sense on what to do next.

Two hours later, the clock read 4:00 a.m., it seemed that my brain just wouldn't shut off. Everything my unconscious mind dreamt revealed all insecurities I had.

Something nagged at me, but impossible to pin point. Gently, I sank into my fluffy pillow staring up unto darkness.

It wasn't the first time I had dreamt up mishaps like that. Something so unexpected just catching me off guard, that was new. Deep down I knew it wouldn't be the last...

Added on to the fact of meeting my teachers the very next day.