Meant to be

How much we love each other... The reason why he left...

“I’m so sorry, Justin.”

I saw tears travelled down to his cheeks. I never dreamt of seeing the only man that I’ve loved experiencing pains that I can’t remove from his system.

I wiped those tears and guided his head to face me so that I could see those mysterious eyes that I’ve adored since the day we first met.

When our eyes already met, I’ve held his face between my hands. I finally said the words that I’ve longed to say to him.

“You don’t need to say sorry, Lester. I loved you so much that I had endured the pains of waiting for you. I loved you so much that I’ve waited for you even though I know that time would come I’ll see with somebody else. I’ve loved you so much that I did my best to understand you when you said you can’t spend lifetime with me. I accepted all of those even though I don’t know what your reason of leaving me was, I trusted you all throughout the past years. That’s how much I love you.”

Even though I was crying, I managed to smile to him. He was also crying hard. When I was finished talking, he grabbed me and embraced me so hard.

“I’m so sorry for leaving you behind. I’m so sorry for pretending that I don’t remember you back there in the restaurant. I’m so sorry for hurting and making you suffer all these past years. I’m so sorry because of all the people that I knew you are the one I loved. I’m so sorry that you needed to see me again and feel this pain that I can’t bear to see in your eyes. It was like hurting and leaving you once again. I love you, Justin. It will never change. You are the only girl that can touch and make it beat faster.”

“How about Dianne? Does she know this? If you love me all along, why did you left? And Lester, I’m not in pain, I’m happy that you are here.”

He wiped my tears and smiled at me. I can see that it’s hard for him to look at me. He doesn’t want to answer me. He’s hiding something to me.

“Is she the new girl who captured your heart? Is she the girl you want to spend your lifetime with? Tell me. You know, I was your best friend when we were just little. You always tell me your secrets, so why don’t you tell me if she is the girl you want to spend your lifetime with? I’ll accept her as my best friend. I believe on my best friend’s choice. I know she’s the best for you. I’ll even share to her all the secrets and favorites of yours when we were small.”

 I said those on just a low voice and I was looking down the floor. I know it hurts, but what can I do? If they love each other, I’ll let go of him.

“Dianne is not my girlfriend or what. You are the only girl that captured my heart until now. You are the girl I want to spend my lifetime with.”

“Then, tell me what the problem is? We did you shove me away before you left?”

“It’s because…Arghhh…”

He didn’t have the chance to explain because he felt pain in his head and started shouting because of too much pain. He fell on the ground. I immediately took him into my arms and lap.

“Lester, what’s wrong? I’ll take you to the hospital. HELP!!! SOMEBODY HELP US!!!”

“Justin, I’m sorry for everything. I love you.”

That’s when he closed his eyes.

“LESTER!!!”

I feel a surge of pain that crying is not enough, even the sky cried hard with me. Other started to draw near us, even Dianne, Nica and Ize. Dianne called immediately an ambulance. Other men carried him inside the restaurant. Nica and Ize assisted me inside.

I was in the state of shock all throughout. Dianne is the one who made all necessary decisions. Even while the hospital is reviving him, she’s there inside the E.R.

Then she went out looking exhausted. She sat beside me immediately.

“Drew, I already called his parents. They are already on their way here.”

“How is he?”

“Drew, I’m so sorry. But he’s already gone.”

With that, I stayed looking far away, shocked. Though now, tears are continuously cascading down my cheeks.

“Why?”

“Today was the deadline I gave him a year ago. I’m not his girlfriend or what. I’m one of his doctors. He is also my friend. Three years ago, he arrived there at the States full of bitterness. As a doctor, I befriend him, I learned that he loathe himself for leaving you behind. I promised him that he can go back to you if he can endure and overcome his disease. He agreed to cooperate with us. Everyone were happy especially him when the first operation was a success. He even planned to go back to you that same year.”

“When did that happened? Why didn’t he tell me that he was sick? Doesn’t he trust me of staying at his side through his pains?”

Lester, why didn’t you trust me about your disease?

“That was a years ago, but when he was about to call you before checking in on the plane, his head experienced pain again. He was rushed to the hospital and there we discovered that the brain tumors were back and this time, they are already cancerous.”

“You mean, when he left me, that was his reason and not because he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“He loved you until his last breath. You are the reason why he fought for this long period. You are also the reason why he went back here at the Philippines today, because he wanted to be with you on his last day.”

That’s when everything sunk in and I started to sobbed. Dianne hugged and comforted me.

“Did you even know that I’ve had a crush on him, but he gently declined me and he told me that he can’t give me more than friendship because his heart only belongs to you? At first I envied you for that, but then, I saw you personally with my own two eyes. I saw how you looked at each other. I saw how hard the love and conviction you have for each other. That’s why when you were about to go, I urged him to call you. At first he told me, his contented of seeing your face for the last time, but I insisted to him to tell you the truth. You deserve to know how much he adore and love you.”

“Dianne, I love him. And I truly thank you for taking good care of him during those times that I was not around him. I know he also loved you not the way he loved me, but on his own way as a special friend. I may lose him, but he’ll always be in my heart forever.”