Humor Contest: My Entries

First Round Entry: Sarcasm

A bolt of lightning pierced through the sunny sky, causing Rosina to jump in fright.

"Eep!"

"Scared much?" asked Daniel, who was seated beside her in the balcony. The pink-haired girl took a few breaths to calm down.

"I hate sudden loud sounds, okay?"

"Yeah, I know, Rose. Well, the weather's changing again," he said, looking upward.

"Whoa, really? Only a genius could figure that out, I'm sure," she replied, tossing her hair.

"Just saying." Drops of rain began to fall from the graying clouds.

"Brr, it's getting chilly. Thank goodness I have my jacket here," Rosina said, quickly slipping it on.

"I would get mine, but it's in the house. Too many steps away from here," Daniel said, feeling a bit cold in his short-sleeved shirt and shorts.

"That's a fancy way of saying you're too lazy, isn't it?" She grinned.

"It is not!" he protested.

"Sure, Dan." The two sat there, watching the rain grow heavier.

"It's burning. So hot," Daniel said out of the blue, fanning himself. Rosina stared at him, confused.

"Huh?" she asked.

"I was trying to use reverse psychology, Rose. It's not working." He shivered.

"Why would it? It's not like the weather is controllable here in Exothetia. Besides, that was a lame attempt."

"I know," Daniel said. Just then, a piece of hail hit him smack on the head. "Ow!"

"Looks like it's hail this time," commented Rosina.

"Looks? Does that mean it's just an optical illusion?"

"Pshhh, I wish it were," he groaned. The hail rained on relentlessly, as if it was fueled by Daniel's misery. "The gods must be really bored today. Playing with the weather must really be amusing to them. Very fun, I'd say."

"Quit complaining, Dan," she said, her hair dotted with hail pieces. He grinned.

"You look like an angel, Rose." She raised her eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Yeah. The ugliest one." Daniel started laughing.

"Aargh. I can't believe I fell for that one. You're such a dimwit."

"We should go inside. The hail's too painful-Hey! It stopped!" he said. Sure enough, the clouds parted and the sun appeared once more. "I'm going to die now." Daniel put his head in his hands.

"We know one part of you that won't die with the rest of you, though," Rosina said, taking off her jacket lounging back on her balcony chair.

"What part?"

"The part of you containing your stupidity and lack of wit. That's immortal. Time would never be dull enough to be able to win. "

"Rose, you're helping so much. In fact, I feel super happy thanks to you!" Daniel topped it off with a wide smile.

"Ah, you're welcome! I was just being honest, so that didn't take much brain effort. Not like you know what that means because you don't have a brain. Anything to make you happy," she replied, stretching out her arms to feel the sun.

"Well, you're just about as intelligent as a hot air balloon. And then, people leak the air out of it like 'eeeEEEEeeee' and nothing's left. Not to mention you're HOT-HEADED!" He doubled over in hysterics. Rosina rolled her eyes, secretly fighting back a laugh.

"If that's true, at least I can see the sights while you're stuck staring at gravel 'cause you're a rock," she retorted.

"Okay, I'm too tired to continue this. If you were a more worthwhile person, maybe I would."

"Oh, I'm so hurt. Anyway, I'm going back in to text some people who are actually interesting and well-rounded. Bye." She stood up and walked away from Daniel.

"See ya, Rose. Have a good time talking about pointless drivel," he replied.