Humor Contest: My Entries

Second Round Entry: A Hippo, Pillow, and a Yellow Not-Really-a-Hero Hero

"Pillow fiiiiiiight!" Teresa yelled, flinging a reddish pink pillow at a wide-eyed Sandra.

"Gahhh! Gosh, Teri, you need to calm down. I knew the six packs of sugar you had would spell trouble," she groaned, pushing away the fluffy object. "Why is your pillow pink anyway?"

"Eheheh, it might have involved a pint of raspberries and my clumsiness," the hyper girl replied, jumping on the bed and continuing to hit her friend. "And sugar is life!"

"Then count me in for death," muttered Sandra, attempting to straighten her fuzzed-up hair. "Stop whacking me, geez."

"Hey! You're just no fun, you know that? Sometimes, loosening up does you good. Like this: shake it..." Teresa swayed her hips and put her arms in the air in the way a girl-who-actually doesn't-know-how-to-dance-but-thinks-she-does would do.

"No wonder you don't have a boyfriend," commented her friend, sighing. "You're a pitiful excuse for a lady." Nevertheless, she kept boogieing, using her pillow as some sort of dance partner.

"Come on, Sandy! Join in!" Teresa encouraged, looking at Sandra with a crazed expression.

"No way. You're aware that the science exam is tomorrow, right? I thought this was supposed to be a study session, not a get-sugar-high, jump-up-and-down party," she said, casting a glance at the abandoned study utensils on the floor. The jumping stopped abruptly.

"Oh. I may have completely forgot."

"We should start now. Thank goodness you have me because if you didn't, Ms. Johnson would loom down at you, yelling, "You didn'ttttttt sssstudy...". Sandra made an old cranky woman's expression of anger. Her friend, however, just laughed.

"She does that all the time, though. Someone should tell her she needs to stop with the excessive hissing."

"No, Ms. Johnson's part snake," she replied, dragging Teresa off of the bed. "Notice her scaly clothes and everything."

"And her grammar issues! You didn't impersonate that aspect well, Sandy. How did she even pass middle school English?"

"She might have bribed someone to do her homework. No wonder Ms. Johnson's a science teacher." She picked up her and Teresa's textbooks and binders. "Come on, Teri. We're going down to my library room to study." The person in question was hugging Sandy's plush hippo.

"This is so cute! And squishy! Can I bring it downstairs with me? It might be a lucky charm for studying."

"Ugh...fine. If you want. Just don't get my hippo dirty," she reluctantly agreed, grinning. Come to think of it, Teresa was like a plush hippo: cute, packing on several pounds recently, and lacking some serious IQ points.

"Yay! You're the best." She stood up, stuffed animal in hand, and finally followed Sandra out the door.

"What's DNA made up of again?" Teresa asked three seconds into the study session. "I didn't seem to take notes on that."

"I'm surprised you even have notes. Don't you usually zone out while Ms. Johnson lectures?" Sandra asked.

"Most of the time, yeah, but once, my mom promised to buy me a box of pop tarts if I paid attention in science class and showed her my class notes as proof."

"Ah, that explains everything," she replied. The increased weight too, she added mentally.

"So, are you going to answer my question or no?" Teresa asked, looking impatiently at my knowledge-filled collection of notes.

"Uh, I think the textbook answers things better," she said, opening it. Though Sandra often wrote down the main points during lectures, her notes were often too broad and understood only by herself. How that worked even she didn't know. "What the-?"