Eloquence and Limerence

SPARKLY GAUGES AND NEW GIRL

Parker Jordyn Evans in the picture 😊
--

Why?

I ask myself. Why can't I look normal? Be something that someone wants? My hips stick out and my legs are an awkward long and lanky form. My arms look nine years long and my collar bones are so defined it's as almost I have no meat in me. But I try.

I try.

I do eat and try to make myself look better and more appealing. But I feel like I look unhealthy. Is that okay? I just can't make it work.

Girls want a guy that's buff and has huge muscles, right? Why can't I have that?

I stare back at my reflection and try to just stare back into my emerald eyes but can't seem to meet them. I'm so ugly. I'm so ugly. I sigh and pick up my towel that I had let fall and finish drying off my black hair and walk into my room to get dressed in my black skinny jeans and dark burgundy pull over. When I sit on my bed to pull my black boots on, I hear a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" I shout loud enough for whoever is at the door to hear me. The door creeps open and my little sister Lily walks in with a box and a bow taped on top. I smile a up at her as she walks in. She jumps in my lap and screams "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARKER!"

I laugh a little and thank her. She hands my the box and smiles my favorite smile. "Open it! I picked it out all by myself and I just know that you'll love it!" I smile and open the box to see hot pink, sparkly gauges. I roll my eyes and shake my head as I let out a chuckle.

When I was picking out new gauges for my ears I took her with me she kept asking me to get these ones even though my answer was always no. I guess dad thought it'd be funny when he took her to get me a present. "Thank you Lily, I love them."

"Will you pretty please wear them today?" She asks with her big, beautiful emerald eyes. We have the same eye color but hers just have this happiness that mine lack.

"Well they don't match my outfit for today, maybe another day Lily Pad." I answer smoothly getting out of that one and kiss her cheek as I stand up. She crawled off my lap and onto my bed to jump on my back. Once she was secured I bent down to grab my messenger bag (book bags irritate the hell out of me) and closed my door on the way out.

Once I reached the kitchen my mom smiled and handed me a doughnut that had Happy 18th Birthday written all around it. "Happy birthday baby". She said and handed Lily a glazed one. Mom usually makes a simple breakfast but every birthday my mom gives us a birthday doughnut for breakfast. I love it.

My mom, Cynthia, is a guidance counselor at Lily's elementary school. My dad, whose name is also Parker, is a lawyer at the biggest law firm in the state and I don't know a thing about it. I really wish I could tell them how I feel.

"Thanks mom, I'm gonna go. Tell dad I said bye" I replied as I set Lily down kissed both of their cheeks and walked out the door, phone in hand. I plugged in my headphones and played my new favorite song, "Happy Song" by Bring Me The Horizon and started my walk to school.

--

I reached the front gates and felt like throwing up. I usually get that feeling every time I walk up the sidewalk. Classmates and teachers don't spare me a second glance. I'm not someone who everyone knows or gossips about. There just happens to be an idiot who chose me as his victim since I've gone here. Oh, here he comes now with a creepy smirk that guys like him toss around all the time. Apparently girls like it. But he makes it look really creepy.

Ladies and gentlemen here I present to you, Todd Seabrooks. "What's up lanky boy?" He asks as he approaches me as his sidekick Jullian Sanders slowly walks behind him and rolls his eyes. I can tell that Jullian gets annoyed with the way Todd treats everyone but he never does anything about it anyways.