I did not fall asleep that night.
I am so sick and tired of everything.
All I wanted was a friend.
My best friend had 'left' me. No, she is not dead, but it feels like it. She is DEFINETLY NOT the same person she was yesterday. It's all Jessicas fault!
I couldn't bear it anymore.
I screamed into my pillow. Why, why, why, WHYYYYY? All I could think about was her. Amanda. I missed the real Amanda. No. I don't want to see her EVER again. She betrayed me. She was never a real friend, because real friends would NEVER do what she did. I can never forgive her.
I screamed into my pillow again. But why? Why me? Was it something I did? What was wrong with me? I was confused, angry and sad at the same time. No, I'm better than this I said to boost myself up. She doesn't deserve my friendship.
I tried to comfort myself, but deep inside, I still wanted her back. I still wanted, a friend.
I stood up. I decided to not sleep, because it was too early now. I went to the mirror. My usually brilliant green eyes were red and wet from all the crying. I wiped away the tears with my sleeve. I wore a grey hoodie, as always. My ginger hair was tangeled. I decided to keep it like that. Nothing mattered anymore.
I went downstairs to eat something before everyone else woke up. I petted my cat, Roman. He purred. At least he loved me, no matter what. I enjoyed his company, but he decided to leave me. He hid inside his little box to take a nap.
"Oh, so now you're leaving me too?" I said. It was meant as a joke but it still hurt. I wanted to leave the house. I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door.
I live in an apartment complex near the woods. It has a park and it's really nice. Through the woods there is a path that leads straight to school. The woods was the only place I could be alone and enjoy it.
As I walked I tried to prepare myself. I didn't know if I could ever look Amanda in the eyes again.
Ever.
