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i pulled my blue bedsheets up to my chest and nestled my head comfortably against my pillow as i clicked play on the youtube video. i'd been dying of anticipation all week, waiting for the vogue 73 questions with drew starkey to finally drop. i quickly shot a text to my best friend:"new drew starkey vid just dropped...guess what else is gonna drop too 😵💫"
i shyly pulled the blanket over my face as he appeared on screen, opening the door with that infamous grin of his. white teeth flashing, blue eyes squinting a little as he greeted, "hey, vogue! come on in."
drew and i followed each other on social media, so i kept my obsession on the low—just between me, my best friend, and the tiktok edits i watched religiously. sometimes he'd like a photo, maybe drop an emoji in the comments.
every time, it fed my delusions just a little more.
i had a bit of a following online, so i'd end up at red carpet after-parties here and there. i'd bump into him sometimes, but never long enough for an actual conversation before his publicist whisked him away to go pose with some up-and-coming actress.
"what's your current favorite movie?" the interviewer asked as they followed him into the kitchen.
he poured himself a coffee, smiled to himself, and said, "queer."
they sat on the couch and the questions kept rolling.
"favorite outer banks character?" "barry. easy." "what's the hardest part of playing rafe?" "becoming someone not everyone's supposed to love." "favorite artist?" "kid cudi."
but then— "who's your favorite person to follow on social media?"
he rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away from the camera. "i mean...i'm not on it much," he said. "but...y/n l/n is someone i've been secretly admiring recently."
i froze. the grip i had on my sheets slipped. i slammed my laptop shut like i'd just been jump-scared.
i sat there blinking at the wall. did he just—
i opened the laptop again, skipped back, turned the volume up.
"y/n l/n is someone i've been secretly admiring recently."
i paused the video, staring at his flushed cheeks and the shy little smile tugging at his mouth.
i grabbed my phone and sent another text: "watch the video right now. he says my name and i need to know if i'm imagining things."
while i waited, i replayed it. over. and over. and over.
then my phone lit up. "so should we start deciding what kind of dress you want for the wedding?" "but seriously. message him. right now."
