my crush is my best friend!

COURAGE

I love the way you are

It's who I am, don't have to try hard

We always say, say it like it is

And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said

You left them running through my head

You're always there, you're everywhere

But right now I wish you were here

Avril Lavinge

I had ben patient, I was able to put my heart through the heartache. Winter vacations were right in the corner and the Winter festival was coming too. I have been doing my hardest to avoid everyhting that has to do with Takehiko but there are times when I see him walking through the halls and he seems to be lost in thought, I want to ask him what is wrong and why is he with Chiho so much time, but everythime I get near I back down. I know I am just his best friend and maybe Chiho will be more so I leaved them alone. The heartache is still present, but I know it will go away eventually. 

But I have never been so wrong in my entire life, seeing them together broke my heart, seeing them smiling and laughing crushed my hopes ...and seeing them beeing so close finally broke my sanity.

"Hey Akemi we should go to the new store!" my "best friend" told me "we could go with Kyle, and his friend if you like" 

I just nodded, who cared how I felt? It was going to be the same everyday. It would be better for me to get rid of my emotions now and forever, if it could be possible. But since they are a part of me I just decided to ignore them, ignore the hearache I felt when I saw them together, ignore the sadness in my heart hearing them laughing, ignore the solitude I felt even if I was surrounded by my friends, I decided to ignore everything and fake happiness. 

"Hurry up! we're going to be late!" Mei said to me as she took my hand pulling me outside the school.

I just followed her, I didn't bother with asking why she was in such a hurry. I usually had been a great friend with her but lately I was just lying to her and myself. Mei stopped right infront of the mall and I just sighed. It was so typical of her.

"Let's go shopping!" she ran inmediately to her favorite store "Forever 21" as I went to read in waiting for her.

I was reading in my phone a story about a girl. She was hopelessly in love with a boy,but he didin't even turned to see her, even if she tried to be his perfect girl he still ignored her.

"Oh, the sweet irony" I thought as I put on my headphones to listen to some music.

A hour passed and Mei was still in the store, I went for a hot chocolate with marshmallows to the cafeteria and sat on one table trying to forget why I was here in the sweet taste of the chocolate.

"Akemi?" I heard someone say 

I turned just to see the reason of my sadness the past few months. Takehiko was standing infront of me with books in his hands. 

"hey" I said as I returned to aking a sip of my chocolate

Takehiko seemed taken back, I just answered in the most cold and emotionless voice I could manage to do.

"hey....um...what's up?" he asked as he sat infront of me.

I just looked at him, he didn't even understood I wanted him as far away as it could be possible.

"nothing, waiting for Mei" I said as I took another sip of my hot chocolate.

I saw that Tkehiko was just about to say soemthing else when I heard the most horrible voice calling for him. Chiho was there waiting for him dressed in a black miniskirt, boots and a purple shirt.

"sorry , I have to go" Takehiko said "nice to see you Akemi"

I just nodded and watch him leave the seat. He walked up to Chiho and she hugged him. 

"Why is she huggig him!?" I thought "she shouldn't be hugging him like that!!"

The cup on my hands was broken after those thoughts. Apparently I was jealous of Chiho and Takehiko beeing together. I had been so in love with him and now he didn't even bothered to look at me.

"I lost him...." I thought "I just, lost him...and I have to deal with it..."

Mei came minutes after and I just made an excuse of a headache to get home. She let me go and said she hoped to see me again during the weekend and to get better. Nodding I just left the Mall and walked up to my house.

The streets were the same I remembered, the same old people who knew me because I had helped them or babysit their children. I walked deep in thought of Takehiko and Mei.

"They say if you love something you have to let it be free" I thought as I looked at the park I used to love whe I was a little girl "but...it still hurts"

I sat on the swing and let the tears run free, the sky seemed to feel my pain because shortly it started to rain. The raindrops masked my tears as I cried my heart out. But I knew...that if I wanted to forget him, I should have the courage to see him and tell him my feelings. 

But a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Akemi??"