Ishq hua (Duet 1)

Chapter 20: Survival

Aira:

The room felt colder tonight, as if the walls themselves had leaned in closer, conspiring to smother me. I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the faint glow of the lamp on the side table. I reached out for it and turned it off. The darkness wasn't just outside - it had seeped into every corner of my mind.

I pressed my palms together, trying to ground myself, but my fingers trembled against each other. The air seemed thick, heavy with the kind of silence that wasn't quiet but loud, roaring in my ears like the ghost of every unsaid word.

The darkness that I once became familiar with had started to scare me again but after what happened two days ago, I seemed to be losing my sanity to the same dankness I fear so much.

It was eating out my thoughts, consuming me whole.

A monster underneath my bed warned me against being in the darkness. My anxiety seemed to be on alert, voice aching to be out of my strangling throat and yet I kept my screams in.

I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting there in the dark. Minutes? Hours? Time had lost its meaning. My thoughts swirled into a cyclone, each one darker than the last, pulling me into their relentless spin.

I didn't want to cry, but the tears came anyway, unbidden, hot, and stinging against my cheeks. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to block out the images flashing through my mind - the emotions in his eyes and worse, the emptiness that seemed to stretch endlessly before me.

Was it all catching up to me? The fear? The suffocation? The knowledge that no matter how hard I tried to keep moving forward, the shadows would always find me, dragging me back into their clutches.

He will ruin me, just like he promised and I will have nothing left to be me.

"Stop," I whispered, my voice cracking in the stillness. "Just stop."

But the darkness didn't stop. It pressed harder, curling its fingers around my chest.

And then, I thought of them - my parents. My anchors. The two people in the world who could hold me when I fell apart, who could piece me back together when I shattered. My mind spiraled further, and suddenly I was in another place, another time.

I could see my mother's face, her warm smile crinkling at the edges as she brushed my hair back from my forehead. "You are stronger than you think, Aira," she'd always say, her voice like a balm on my weary soul. And my father, his quiet strength radiating from every reassuring word, "You have got this, sweetheart. We are right here."

And Armaan who was always beside me to have my back.

But they weren't here. Not now. Not when the shadows were winning.

I lay back on the bed, curling into myself as the tears came harder, my body shaking with the force of them. I clutched the pillow tightly, as if it could somehow hold the pieces of me together. The loneliness clawed at me, sharper than ever, a constant reminder of what I couldn't reach.

"I need you," I whispered to the void. "I need you both Mom, Dad and Armaan."

For a moment, I could almost hear my mother's voice again, soothing and gentle. "We are proud of you, sweetheart. Just keep going."

But the moment passed, leaving only silence.

They weren't here anymore. They weren't in my life and they didn't want me in theirs. He had made sure of it.

My father had abandoned me and I had deserved it when I choose him over my father.

I pulled the blanket up to my chin, trying to block out the world, trying to escape the crushing weight of the dark thoughts. My chest heaved as I fought to steady my breathing, to stop the storm raging inside me.