The Miracle Of Life - A Harry Potter Fanfiction

The Mysterious Castration

CHAPTER 3 - The Mysterious Castration

A/N: Let's see if you can guess who the person Hermione castrated before it is revealed. If you did guess comment with what line you guessed it, please?

A month after the 'Double Birth Incident' had happened, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, Luna, Rolf, Neville and Hannah where sitting in Hermione and Ron's living room while the children were in the Burrow (Molly and Arthur had become the Longbottom's and Scamander's honorary family so they had also become their children's childminders) all except Hugo and Lily who were still with their parents but at the moment they were both asleep upstairs.

"Hey, Hermione. I was just thinking about when you had Rose and Hugo, and both times you threatened me with castration and when you were having Rose you said that you had done it someone before. So who was this person and why did you do it?" Ron asked in a innocent voice while batting his eye lids and pouting.

"You know I always wondered that too." Harry said.

"Me too." the others chimed in.

"Oh, erm... well..."

"Go on, you can tell us!" said Ginny.

"It was during 6th year, and it was because he was annoying me by trying to make be his girlfriend and by trying to get me to sleep with him, neither of which happened by the way. So after one of his attempts I told him what I really thought about him."

*Flashback*

Hermione was sitting on her usual table in the school library when HE came over and asked the same question he'd been asking her once a month for the past 5 and a half months.

"Hermione, why won't you go out with me? I mean I'm handsome and we could really get to know each other, if you know what I mean."

"That's it! I had enough of you, do you really want to know why I won't go out with you?"

He nodded.

"It's because you're rude, obnoxious, cocky, conceited and just purely vile. You're a horrible person who treats women like they are possessions and everyone else like crap. You walk around thinking you're better than everyone. Like everyone else is beneath you. You put others down as long as you think it will make you look better. Your an arrogant boy, who I will NEVER go out with or even fancy in the slightest. And why would I go out with you when I'm in love with someone else?"

"And who is this someone else? It's not Weasley is it?"

Hermione blushed at this, but he didn't notice and carried on putting Ron down.

"I mean he's the worst keeper I have ever seen. He's hopeless. He's not even handsome. And he has a girlfriend."

"For your information, he isn't a terrible keeper, hopeless and he is handsome and unlike some people he treats people right. And as for Lavender he doesn't even fancy her and he has been trying to get rid of her for months."

And with that she stormed out of the library but not before she turned her wand on him and muttered a castration charm.

*End Of Flashback*

"Hermione that was a interesting story but we still don't know who it was." said Luna.

"You mean you can't guess who I was talking about?"

Everyone except for Ron shook their heads.

"So you know who it is then Ronald?"

"Of course I do, there are only two people who you would ever say that to."

"And who are these people then?"

"Draco Malfoy and Cormac McLaggen."

"And how do you know which one I was referring too?"

"Well, I know that one of their wives has just found out she's pregnant again."

"And how do you know this?"

"Well at Hugo's last checkup, he was their with his son standing outside a room and then she came out hugged him and told him she was pregnant again. So it must mean that the person you castrated was-"

And that's when the 8 adults heard Lily and Hugo crying. Ginny and Hermione rushed upstairs with a bottle each to get their youngest children. When they came back downstairs saying that Hugo and Lily had fell back asleep, Ginny all but screamed at Ron and Hermione.

"So who is he? Malfoy or McLaggen?"

"Do you really think Malfoy would want to go out with me? The muggle born best friend of Harry Potter? I didn't think so, no the idiotic Cormac McLaggen had been asking me the exact same question since the night of Slughorn's Christmas party."