Clean - BOT ²

soulmates

ﾟ:* ✶ Gerard ✶ ﾟ:*

"That's when I could finally breathe"

June 4, 2005

Adeline Kavanagh was my rock.
The girl of my dreams, the light in my life and the reason my heart kept beating.

That was the one fact I had always been sure of, or at least it was. Before the break up, and Claire, and my confession.

I felt sick showing her the letter I'd hidden for years, the one that revealed the truth—my darkest secret.

But when her tears dried, and her hand clutched mine, I knew it would all be okay. I would be okay, we would be okay.

She didn't judge me, she didn't beg me to tell anyone. She simply pressed her lips to mine, told me I didn't deserve anything that had happened, and promised to stand by me through everything.

Three days later and here I was sitting on the floor of her bedroom, hours after filing a police report.

It was hard—the hardest thing I'd ever done—but sitting here now I felt relieved. My mam was devastated, almost immediately kicking Keith out. Johnny cried, Grace was blinking back her own tears and Declan pulled me into a rare hug.

But the truth was out, and that was what mattered.

"Okay, close your eyes," Addy's singsong voice came from her closet.

"What? Are you going to show me your boobies?" I teased.

"Gerard!" She giggled, "shut up and close your eyes."

Obeying her, I shut my eyes, and leaned my head back on her bed, "okay, they are closed, ballerina."

I heard the closet door open and close and then the sound of her sock barren feet shuffling across the floor. Something dropped to the ground and then she climbed onto my lap, her legs on either sides of my hips.

Her hands slipped around my neck and mine instinctively gripped her waist.

Her lips brushed against my ear, "I'm so proud of you." The sensation of her lips brushing against me caused me to shiver and grip her waist tighter.

She then traced a featherlight line across my jawline before pressing her lips to mine. I groaned, drowning in the taste of her vanilla chapstick and the feel of her soft lips melting against mine.

I'd kissed my fair share of girls, but none of them compared to Adeline. With her it wasn't just kissing, it was way more. It was passion, it was real, it was love. It was a taste of how normal life could be, even after everything.

When she pulled back, her cheeks were flushed and her brown eyes were locked on mine.

"Did you get me to close my eyes just so you could kiss me?" I reached up and brushed a strand of her golden hair behind her ear.

"No," she grinned. "That was just a bonus."

"Hell yeah it was," I chuckled. "The biggest bonus in my life, babe."

She giggled and pressed a peck to my lips. She then twisted around and grabbed an object from the floor. When she turned back around she had a smile on her face and a white shoebox that was painted white and sprinkled with red and pink hearts.

"What's that?" I questioned, eyeing the box.

"My Gerard box," she shrugged.

A smile pulled at my lips, "your what?"

She sighed, "my Gerard box. Y'know, the box where I put all the stuff related to you."

"Your shrine?" I waggled my brows, "wow, you really do love me."

She playfully rolled her eyes, and pressed a finger to my lips. "Shut up and let me be cute."

"Shutting up," I smirked, watching as she opened the lid of the box.

She was still straddling me, and the box was placed in between our stomachs. She riffled through it, picking up each item with a grin on her face.

"What is all this, Ads?"

"It's our memories," she blushed. She held up a stub from the cinema, "the stub from the first film we watched at the cinema." She dug around more, "a note you passed me when I was in second year." She grinned when she picked up a stuffed cat, "the cat you won me at the spring fair."

I couldn't help but smile. She'd saved nearly every note, cinema stub, and gift we'd ever shared.

"You saved all this?" My eyes met hers.

"Yes," she nodded. "I wanted to remember it all. I wanted to showourkidsoneday," she blurted out the last few words so fast I almost didn't make them out.

I chuckled, my hand resting on her jaw, "oh, you've planned our future. How many kids are we having, Ads?"

"Two, a girl and a boy," she blushed, her hand sliding down my chest. "Maybe three, if the first two are well behaved."

"Sounds perfect to me," I nodded. "Just like you."

"I love you, Gerard Gibson," her words shot me straight in my heart.

"I love you more, Adeline Kavanagh."

With her arms wrapped around my neck, I pushed us off the floor, her legs now wrapping around my waist. I then lowered us onto her bed, so that she was on her back and I was resting on top of her.

"You mean the world to me," I breathed against her lips.

"Likewise," she grinned.

I meant every word of it. She was my everything, and she always had been. Even though today sucked, considering my situation, she made it better. She made me feel invincible.

I didn't have to be Gibsie with her, I could be Gerard—and to her that was enough, to her it didn't matter. She'd always loved Gerard, even when I couldn't, even when I was trying so hard to be carefree Gibsie.

I didn't have to pretend around her. From the minute we'd met she'd seen the real me, the me I was terrified of showing people. And instead of running, she fell in love with that version of me.

"Do you believe in soulmates?" She asked, her voice soft.

"Definitely, because you're mine," I said without an ounce of hesitation.

If soulmates were real—if two souls were actually destined to meet and be together forever—then Addy was the soul made to intertwine with mine.

Our scars faded a bit more with each minute we spent together. My head was finally above water, I didn't feel like I was drowning anymore.

When I was with her I could finally breathe.