Waterfall Eclipse

Regrets - Part One

Chapter Seventeen:

Regrets - Part One

Rani rushed back to her room and quickly laid down. Her head was spinning and she couldn't make it stop. In her flat state while placing a hand on her Asauchi, she tried to meditate to connect with her zanpakuto.

"Are you all right, Rani?"

"No. I made a huge mistake. I feel awful. Everyone was right. I shouldn't have tried to do it."

"But I did have faith in you. You did not master it, but at least you know how to call me when needed."

"I don't think I will for a long time, or ever."

"What do you mean by 'ever'?"

"Taki Nisshoku. It has a pretty meaning. Waterfall Eclipse. That's just awesome." Rani said with a sigh. "But, I can't lie to the captain. I can't say I didn't know what happened, especially since I am the one who did this to myself. I have no bumps on my head, therefore the whole amnesia thing with hitting my head is not going to work."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Maybe request a meeting with Captain Hitsugaya. Maybe write him a letter."

"You sound like you want to quit being a Shinigami."

"I know that sounds awful, but I am wondering the repercussions of quitting. I know I would be placed in the Maggot's Nest due to my insane pressure and power."

"And would you want that?"

"I don't know." Rani answered. "I just don't know."

Rani ended the Jinzen from there and woke up with tears coming out of her eyes. When her eyes focused again, Umeko was there.

"Hey, you all right?"

Rani swallowed and slowly sat up.

"In one word, no." She answered. "I have a lot on my mind and I don't want you to get involved in my troubles. Don't worry about what Lieutenant Matsumoto said to you."

"She just told me to not tell Captain Hitsugaya about the Zanpakuto that I saw. Everything else was true."

"Yes, but don't feel like you have to lie for me." Rani reiterated. "Do you have paper left? And ink?"

"Yes, in my desk. You out?"

"Yes, I write to my brother too much it seems."

"I'll leave you to do your business. Want me to grab you something from the restaurant?"

"No. I am fine. Thank you though."

Umeko smiled and then left the room leaving Rani alone.

Rani went over to Umeko's desk and took out the necessary writing equipment and started to write Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Matsumoto.

Two hours later, she finished the two letters, but before having them delivered, she hid them away and went for a walk to the Squad Five barracks.

"Can I help you?"

"I was wondering if I could have a word with Lieutenant Hinamori?"

"We can find out for you. Hey! Kiyomi! Get over here!"

"Yes? Oh hey Rani! What brings you here?"

"Your friend here wants to speak with the lieutenant. Take her to the office and see if Lieutentant Hinamori would speak with her."

"Yes, sir. Follow me."

Rani followed Kiyomi for a few steps in silence.

"How is it here?"

"It's great! Everyone is so nice! I was surprised when I chose this squad."

"So was I." Rani joked.

The two continued to catch up before arriving at the lieutenant's office where Kiyomi knocked on the door.

"Come in! Oh Hi Kiyomi. How can I help you?"

"Miss Tómasu Rani of Squad Ten would like to speak with you, if you have the time."

"Yes, of course. She can come in."

Rani made her way in and smiled. Kiyomi then excused herself and left.

"How can I help you Miss Tómasu?"

"I know the last time you and I spoke was when we were discussing the possibility of me joining this squad, but I can't talk with anyone in Squad Ten about this. Can I have your advice on something?"

"Sure." Lieutenant Hinamori replied concerned.

"And I know you and Captain Hitsugaya have a history, but I am ignoring that. Although, since you know him better it may help me."

"Miss Tómasu, go ahead. I am all ears for you."

"Okay, so forgive me if I blab, but my thoughts are all jumbled." She said and then paused. "I think I have made a grave mistake. I was so eager after being attacked by your former captain that I wanted to learn how to get my Shikai. I asked around and did some research, pretty much finding nothing on the subject on how to do it. I then was assigned to the Living World and went to Urahara's shop and he told me I shouldn't do it because I was so young, but that he'd give me a one word clue, which was 'Jinzen' and left it at that. Well, sort of. He told me I needed more experience with my Asauchi before even attempting it. Fast forward to after my month being down there, I came back to find out I had earned a few days leave and I ended up trying Jinzen on my own only to be severely drained and ended up in the Squad Four barracks. Now Lieutenant Matsumoto, who found out I achieved it since Umeko found me and my zanpakuto, is trying to make it seem like I have amnesia to make sure I don't get into trouble. I feel really guilty. I regret even the attempt at Shikai. I don't know what to do. I wrote Captain Hitsugaya a letter, and Lieutenant Matsumoto as well, about the whole ordeal. I don't know if I want to stay a Shinigami or what." She blurted out and then sat down on the floor near Lieutenant Hinamori.

The lieutenant waited a few moments before saying anything.

"Okay, so you regret trying to learn a powerful move once you found out how?" Rani nodded. "And you regret that Rangiku is lying to Shiro to protect you?"

"I don't regret that she did. That's on her, but I regret that I let it get that far because I knew it was wrong. I don't want her to be on his bad side. I don't want to be on his bad side either."

"Shiro's not like that. Trust me, I have done some bad things too, regarding him, but he's forgiven me, at least I hope he has."

"What will he do to me?"

"Most likely nothing."

"Not even since I went to the Living World to try to achieve it?"

"I doubt it. He'd probably commend you. After all, he did kind of tail you while you were in the academy, didn't he?" She questioned. Rani gave her a worried look. "Kiyomi and I have a lot in common and we talk a lot."

"What do you think I should do?" She asked, as there was a knock at the door. Rani quickly sat up.

"Talk to him." Lieutenant Hinamori stated. "Come in."

The door opened and there stood Captain Hitsugaya. Rani's mouth pretty much dropped to the floor, or at least inside her mind it did.

"Oh, hi Captain Hitsugaya. I think I will leave you two alone."

"Wait! Lieutenant!" Rani pleaded as she walked out the door.