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Chapter 10

Chapter 10
He can hear the alarm clock ringing but he can't open his eyes. It's not that he doesn't want to, that he wants to sleep longer, no that's not it. It's the fact that he physically or mentally doesn't have the strength to move out of the burrow he made inside the covers. The dark room is engulfing him as his mind reminds him that normal people can wake up and get on with their day. They have the energy to not call into work sick or miss class and then not lie to their friends when they're asked to go out.
He lays there with the alarm taunting him for the longest time before Taylor pecks on his door. "Cam?" He asks quietly, he waits outside for a response and then opens the door. "Hey. You up?" Taylor shuts off his alarm. Cameron looks up at him weakly, "I can't." Taylor sits on his bed and grabs the edge of his covers. "Come on bro, today's gonna be great." He wants nothing more than to believe his best friend but hearing the words feel like knives in his ears. "Mhm." Cameron stays put. Taylor pauses and then squeezes his shoulder through the blanket. "I'll bring you home some lunch when my class ends." He tells him and as he leaves he closes the door behind him.

His phone signals him that he has a text and finally he pushes himself to grab his phone from his bedside table.

2nashty4u: good morning
cam: morning
2nashty4u: I'm in class but I'm hella bored and want to talk to u :-)
cam: they aren't teaching right?
2nashty4u: nope. Free days the rest of the week
cam: okay. Good
2nashty4u: are u in class?
cam: not this morning

After he makes himself get up he goes into Taylor and his shared bathroom. Under his eyes are bags from the lack of energy and sleep, his lips are chapped. The mirror makes his body look disproportionate and he wants to punch it. To make the sight go away but Taylor yelled at him last time. Plus he has scars along his knuckles anyways so there's no need making it worse.

2nashty4u: did it get cancelled or something?
cam: I'm just a little sick today
2nashty4u: u gonna b ok? :(
cam: always am

Cameron gets the tea packets from the cabinet above the stove and starts heating up some water. He admittedly thinks green tea tastes like shit but he couldn't find it in his heart to tell Taylor he actually preferred black tea. At the moment he feels like shit so it's all the well.

2nashty4u: princess what do you mean always?
cam: it's nothing :) lol my morning just started off bad, Taylor forgot to wake me up

Cameron felt terrible for lying but he didn't want him to know he had depression. He doesn't want to creep Nash out.

2nashty4u: I can make it better :)
cam: and how so?
2nashty4u: I will tell you a joke xp
cam: okay, let's hear it
2nashty4u: if u were a triangle u'd acute ;)
cam: omg Nash.
2nashty4u: it was great
cam: that was great, I'll admit

He smiles at his phone, it always happens. On his worst days the younger brunette could make him smile. That's why he meant what he said to him, his life had been better since he's been in it. A lot of days he struggled to find the good in hanging on, some days he'd just collapse and that'd be the end of it. He feels bad for missing out on his life, time with his friends and college in a while but it is hard for him to go out and do normal things because he always convinces himself he doesn't deserve to have fun.

2nashty4u: you are great and wonderful and I can't wait to meet you in person
cam: does that mean your coming here soon? I promise I won't try to kill you xD

He's hopeful with that question but he knows he can't push anything. Nash is still young, it's hard to be in this position.

2nashty4u: I'll be there next week, if that's okay with you?
cam: is this a joke?
2nashty4u: course not
cam: you are actually coming to California to visit me?
2nashty4u: yes princess I am
cam: excuse while I go cry tears of happiness

And that's exactly what he did.

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hi everyone:p
I wanted to write out cams depression in this story.
I am also excited for the visit.
Hope you enjoyed.