Written In The Heart

Chapter 9

I decide not to go in, in case he's already over me and it wouldn't be fair to him. I'm not ready to see him either. I'm about to leave when I notice him coming out in a birthday hat and a plate of cake. He doesn't notice me. After he gets down to sit on his step he looks down at his plate of cake. Then he slams his fork into his slice of cake. He puts down his plate down beside him and takes his hat off angrily and throws it somewhere else. He leans back and sits up quickly. He gets his phone. Soon I get a text from him. I don't open it up but I can still see what it says.
I miss you.
Another one comes.
I shouldn't feel alone like this on my birthday.
Another one.
I'm sorry. Forgive me. Please.
Another.
Please Robin.
Another.
I still love you, forgive me. I need you.
He gets up, holds his phone by his ear and I get a call from him. I don't answer. He calls again a few times. After about 5 times he sits back onto his steps and places his face onto his hands. I decide to go back home.

My birthday is about 2 weeks after Will's birthday. By now school started and I've already managed to avoid him at every turn. For my birthday I'm working. Usually Emma just gets Red Velvet cake and we sing Happy Birthday. We have a dinner with my favorite foods or we go out. This year I worked on my birthday (which luckily landed on a Saturday). While I'm working the register Jessie comes up with a handful of clothes.
"Hello Robin." She says.
"Hello Ms.B." I said as I begin to ring her up.
"How are you? You don't come by anymore, we miss you dear."
"I'd rather not talk about it. It seems like we're both still grieving."
"I'm sure you two can work it out."
"Sure Ms.B. That'll be $47.92."
"Alright. By the way, why are you working on your birthday?"
"How did you know?"
"Willy would come home and lock himself inside his room. He won't eat, he'll just draw and when I do go into his room he's either texting, on the phone, drawing, or reading. His room is covered in crumpled up pieces of paper. Either way he plays the same Blink 189 song. I believe he mentioned your birthday."
"Oh, okay."
"The furthest conversation we got was, 'you know it's her birthday today.' I said 'Is it now?' He's drawing and he says all this without looking up. He stops for a moment and says, 'mom, as much as I love her, I don't think that right now is the best time to do that.' So I asked why you're never over anymore and he tells me that he messed up and that he misses you dearly."
"That's $42.76 Ms.B." she reaches for her purse and pays. While she does this, she she says,
"When he's not in his room he would stare at pictures he took of you and repeatedly say 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, please forgive me.' And he would leave after a while of doing this. Jay and I tried to take him out but he wouldn't. Then his birthday came and we had to force him to come out. Then he went outside and disappeared for a while."
She looks down at her phone as I hand her the bag.
"Well, that's enough babbling. Tell Emma I'll call her again later. We've become such great friends. She's one cool person! Tell her I said hi dear!"
"Will do! Have a good day Ms.B!" I wave.
"Bye dear!" She waves back as she leaves.

Later that day after I leave work Emma, Stone, and I have cake and dinner. I turned off my phone. I pretended I was happy and that I forgot about Will when truth be told, after a month or so I Still miss him. Now I understand what he meant when he shouldn't feel so alone on his birthday.
Why don't I just forgive him?
Because, you're still too hurt.
Before I went to sleep I read the texts he sent me.
I miss you Robin, the girl wonder.
I'm sorry.
Happy birthday!
I hope you have a great day.
I still miss you.
Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head. I miss you.
How was your day? Heard you got a job at Wreckless Beauty. Do a good job and make us all proud.