SKZ Imagines

Hold My Hand - HAN

Author's Note: Listen to the song while reading for a better experience :)

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of mental issues, depression and anxiety⚠️

Your apartment seemed darker today than most days, except for the blue glow of the computer screen I front of you. Your work sits on it, half-finished and abandoned. Your hands trembled as you pressed your palms against your closed eyelids, trying to push back the tears.

You always had problems with controlling your emotions on bad days. Today was especially worse, your boss has passed on a big workload with a deadline for tomorrow, you were yelled at by your seniors for some stupid reason. All these brought up those buried insecurities and it made you feel like shit. It will yet again be one of those nights buried under piled-up tears.

You heard someone entering the apartment code as the entrance door opened. You already knew who was walking in.

"Hey baby. You're still awake?" Your back was still turned away from him, so he couldn't really see your true face. His voice was so soft, laced with worry.

You quickly wiped your face, forcing a smile and turning towards him. It was Han, your boyfriend. "Yeah, just...working."

But Jisung knew you better than that, he didn't buy it. The dark circles under your eyes, the way your shoulders sagged - it said him enough. He walked up to you and pulled you in a hug. He knew that this wasn't just fatigue. This was you breaking.

That night, as you lay in bed beside Han, finally calmed down as he rubbed little circles on your back, you called to him gently. "Jisung?"

He hummed. "I'm scared, Jisung.", you whispered, voice raw. "What if I run to the end of my life and it's just...a sad ending?"

He tilted his head to look in your eyes. He softly brushed your cheek with his thumb. That one touch made you forget about all your worries, as you melted into him. Han smiled, "Then we'll rewrite it." That was all you needed to calm down your nerves and worries and you both fell into a deep sleep.

But the nightmares were the worst. Within a few hours into sleep, you woke up gasping, sheets tangled around you, heart pounding like you'd been running for miles. Han immediately woke up next to you and held you in his arms and cradled you gently. The rest of the night, he stayed up with you, your head resting against his shoulder. Brushing away your hair, he hummed you to sleep and sang to you:

Every time I see you cry, I feel like drowning in the dark...

As he sang, he whispered, "You don't have to be strong all the time.". He ran his fingers through your hair. You took his hand and held onto it, like a lifeline. "But what if I'm not enough? What if I-". He suddenly held a finger on your lips to stop you, mid-sentence. "You are!", he interrupted fiercely. "And I'm not going anywhere."

——————————

It was the day of Stray Kids' concert. You visited to support Han and the other members. Han got you front row tickets. You were standing in the crowd among many other STAYs, anticipating Han's surprise solo stage. This time, Han didn't even let you listen to the song he prepared.

As Han stepped onto the stage alone, the spotlight isolating him in a pool of white light, he looked so handsome. And the crowd went wild! The opening notes of the song filled the arena, and his voice sung the first line.

Then he saw you. Front row, his eyes locked onto yours, unwavering.

So baby, hold my hand now...

His grip on the mic tightened and something shifted in you. As the lyrics filled your ears, you truly understood what he was singing about. He was singing about you and he wrote this song for you, you were sure of it. Your eyes filled up with tears, scared they might fall down and may never stop.

By the time he reached the chorus, his voice was strong, clear - pleading.

All I want is you, not your tears.
Until the tears run dry,
I wanna make you the happiest one, no fear.
So baby, hold my hand now...

When the song ended, the crowd erupted. But Han only had eyes for you, his chest heaving. Your eyes spoke millions of emotions and it seemed as if he understood every single one of them.

As he exited the stage, you rushed backstage to meet him. Han also came running toward you. As your eyes met again, you both rushed into each others' arms. Han clung to you, his face buried in your shoulder.

"I meant it," he mumbled. "Every word."

You kissed the top of his head. "I know, baby. I know."

You were still unsure of what the future might hold. You were scared, that the last chapter of your life would come with a twist. And maybe it would. But for now, in the warmth of Han's arms, you finally believed - your story would end beautifully, as long as you had Han next to you.

That's when you realised that this was just the beginning...