~𝙼𝙾𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙽 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝙱𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙴 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙻𝚈𝙳𝙴~

chapter fifty-three

Bellatrix sat in the passenger seat of the Suburban, staring out the windshield, her fingers lightly drumming on the leather seat. The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the parking lot, and everything seemed so quiet, too quiet. She wasn't sure how to feel—conflicted didn't even begin to cover it.

The consultation had been... intense, to say the least. The doctor's words had been steady and clinical, but each one had struck her like a bullet. A hysterectomy. No more chances. No more possibilities. No more heartaches over her body rejecting pregnancies, over losing babies she never got the chance to meet.

She rubbed a hand over her face, trying to push the tightness in her chest away. She was grateful for the clarity the procedure would bring, but grief—that was something else entirely.

The sound of Tig's voice broke through the silence, rough and steady. "You sure about this, Bellie?"

She turned her head slightly to look at him, but his gaze remained fixed ahead, hands gripping the wheel tight. His concern was palpable, and for a moment, it felt like she was trapped in his worry. She could feel it, that quiet tension in the air between them.

"Not sure," she admitted, her voice hoarse. "I mean... yeah. I know I don't want any more of those... those heartbreaks. But I don't know, Tig. It feels final, you know? Like, really final."

He nodded slowly, his jaw tightening as he processed her words. "I get that. Ain't no going back after that."

"But it's not just that," she continued, her words coming faster now, like a flood she couldn't control. "It's... all those dreams I had, you know? The ones where I was gonna have more kids, maybe even a little girl to balance out the chaos of the boys. I thought I'd get to try again, after everything with Harlan."

Tig reached over, his hand finding hers, squeezing it tight. It was a small gesture, but it was enough to ground her for a moment.

"I get it," he said, his voice rougher than usual. "But you ain't alone in this. I told you before, I'll be here. We got our family, Bellie. And if it's kids you want, we can still have that. I'm willing to do whatever you need."

Bellatrix blinked rapidly, trying to force back the tears she could feel threatening to spill. Tig always knew how to ground her, how to bring her back to the present when everything felt like it was spinning out of control. But there was still that hole, that deep, aching sense of loss that she couldn't shake.

"You mean a vasectomy?" She tried to joke, but the bitterness that crept into her voice made it clear she wasn't really laughing.

Tig let out a breath, his thumb rubbing across her knuckles. "Yeah, I know they're reversible. But I'm not saying it because I think we have to have more kids. I'm saying it 'cause I know how much you wanted it, Bellatrix. And I know you won't get that choice now. But it doesn't mean you have to do this alone."

The words hit her like a slap to the face. You won't get that choice now. It was final. She'd wanted to decide on her own terms. She didn't want it to be taken away by a fucking medical procedure.

"How do you do it?" she whispered, more to herself than to Tig. "How do you keep going when life just keeps taking shit away?"

Tig's grip tightened on her hand, and for a long moment, neither of them spoke. There was a weight to the silence, one that neither of them seemed ready to break. Finally, Tig's voice rumbled in the quiet truck.

"You do it because you got something to fight for. We both do." He glanced at her, his eyes soft, but there was that undeniable fierceness behind them. "It ain't the end of anything, Bellie. It's just... a different chapter."