Star Wars: The Last Resort

Chapter Six: Introspection

Samyan Kad began to think. His brother must have released a blast of his own, a force shove? Whatever they called them. Maybe for his own protection from the flames or from the blaster fire, he had heard the lightsaber come to life … but that force blast definitely was the reason he was able to escape. Was his former brother really trying to help him?

Funny, he grew up the only child in a “force family” that was not touched by the force. He saw the differences in his parent’s adoration toward him and his two brothers and then his little sister. Maybe the differences were just imagined, maybe they didn’t exist at all. He renounced his family because he thought the force had shut him out, singled him out and would never then be of any help to him. But here it was helping him, touching him second-hand. He didn’t need anyone’s charity … although he needed it this time.

Not that he’d consider making amends just yet, he was committed to his new family on Mandalore. And now there was the issue of the anonymous tip off regarding Jeryald Freelan that had drawn him and Lucas there. It’d be interesting to discover the entire back story there.

Lucas Diran stood up off the floor. He returned the lightsaber hilt to its hiding place. He looked up and followed the vapor trail out the window that his brother had shattered and flown through. He heard foot falls in the atrium and heard shouts of the backup squads arriving to help him. He realized he’d had his helmet off and had been out of touch with his people.

He descended back into contemplation. For the longest time, he’d tried to put off the terminal do-gooder image of his Jedi upbringing. He’d never match up to his father’s reputation or his mother’s for that matter. He didn’t want to be the social rebel Samyan was, and he couldn’t match up to his eldest brother’s selfless heroism and he certainly was not the force savant his younger sister was. He’d have to settle for who he was now. But who or what was he.

Maybe his forays into law enforcement and crime fighting were him just trying to ignore the very real Jedi calling. Maybe the force wasn’t his to ignore. Perhaps he’d have to consider his current position in a galaxy that didn’t want to rely on force users anymore, but seemed to needed them anyway on a regular basis.

Still, he knew how that would go. He’d be like a musician that people aren’t interested inn except for his music, or a doctor that people don’t bother to talk to unless they need medical advice. He’d be thrust into positions of leadership that he had not earned. He’d have an inordinate amount of responsibility thrust on him because people expected him to be able to handle it - just because he could use the Force. He’d have the microscope of unrealistic moral expectations hanging over his life all the time. It was nice to be a regular person once in a while. But could the galaxy wait for him to get over his self-centeredness?

His brother Samyan Kad, was the only non-force sensitive in a family of force-powerful beings, yet somehow both of them had become the black sheep of the Diran family. It was apparent that they both now had some emotional and spiritual homework to do. Till next time big brother, till next time. He walked away, sore, wondering how he was going to explain all this to his Captain.

END