Haven't You Heard?

Chapter 35.

Oh god it's been so long I'm soooooo sorry!

I pulled myself together as soon as possible. I had to get my act together. I was sure may other werewolves dealt these kinds of things all the time, guns and fights and . . . immortal things, but hey who knows?

"Do you feel any better?" Ryder asked, kissing my cheek. I frowned and laid my head on his chest. 

"I'm not sure. I feel like I just need to stop being  a crybaby all the time or else how can I even take on the head of the council?" I shivered, even saying the words out loud reminded me that everything was real, and my world was a big lie.

He began to run circles on my back. I closed my eyes, arching my back for more. 

"You can do it, I have faith in you."

I smiled at his words. I just wish I had faith in me too.

"But in all honesty, I don't want to fight them. I know it's for the best but . . "

"You feel like it's not your fight," He finished for me. I nodded and let out a deep sigh. 

"I feel so lost. Everything is happening too fast. Any faster and I'm gonna get whiplash," I scoffed. Ryder leaned down to kiss my lips lazily. I lightly smiled against him.

"Well, this is more my speed," I remarked against his lips. 

"Hey um . ." I paused, breaking away from him. Now that me and him finally had a moment alone, I could talk more about wolf things and such.

"Yeah?" He asked, holding himself up by his elbow. I turned on my side to face him on the pillow.

"How does um . . pregnancy and marriage and all that work for your ki . .  our kind?" I asked, unsure of how to bring up the subject. Sure we hadn't really talked about it, but it was a topic that had to be discussed no matter how embarrassing or awkward. 

Ryder raised his eyebrows nonchalantly. "Well, if you were a human then getting pregnant would be hard. But since your a werewolf, as I am too, then it's pretty normal."

"I haven't heard the word normal in a long time," I mumbled. In fact, I don't understand what part of my life is normal anymore.

"So it's just like regular people having..." I trailed off, feeling stupid as usual.  I wish there was a textbook for all this stuff.

"Just like normal. Except-"

"Except what?!" I shrieked. He laughed. 

"There are technically three parts. The Marking, which we've done. Then the basic sex in our human forms, then . ."

"Wait, don't tell me in our wolf forms too?" I cringed. Would that even be . . . pleasurable?

He stayed silent and gave off a shrug. I felt my skin begin to crawl. I felt like a dog! I couldn't even shift yet and I still felt like a wild animal! I couldn't imagine how any part of that would be sexy or exciting or pleasurable! 

"Oh." I muttered.

"Don't worry about that though. We'll worry about it when it's time and you're ready. I've heard it's not as weird as it would seem."

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Only when you will be. I'd never force anything onto you."

My heart began to swell so I placed a kiss on lips. He lifted himself up and moved over me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss.

-

"I'm tired, I need a break Tilly," I told her, taking a seat on the grass. Some pack mates had been watching us spar, but today Tilly had been going so hard I didn't have the time to even catch my breath. Em and the twins would cheer for me, which did brighten my spirits, yet I remained subject to sucking.