Memorise

Dear Frank,

How have you been? Good I hope, or amazing, just like you. This will break your heart more than anything else in the world. I know you trust me, you've just put your heart in my hands all those years ago, and we've had the best of times together, but I'm afraid it has come to an end. We played our last show not too long ago, and I'm sad to see all those good times with each other fade away from not only mine, but the both of our grasps. You were there for me, all the times that I fell, you were the one who helped piece me back together. Before I knew it, you had me under your spell and I couldn't forget it. I always went through all of my sketchbooks just drawing your beautiful face, I don't think I'll ever forget that either, or all those times we kissed onstage, those were some of the most perfect times I've ever experienced, and don't get me wrong, I still love, cherish, and smile upon them. It's just I feel as though our time is over, I really hope we can continue to be friends-- I know how hard that hurts, or stings even, rejection is eventually the inevitable, when the time comes upon it seems the only control we have is to either let it help destroy or help rebuild us, and I hope this helps rebuild you, and if it doesn't I'll be around to help. That is, of course if you want me around, God I hope you do. If you can't, I understand, and I just hope sometime we can try to rebuild what we had when we first met before the mess of our bodies and hearts became one. I remember all of those songs I wrote about you, about you and I, everything. I built everything I had off you, my sketches, songs, love, hell even my whole life! If it weren't for you I without a doubt would not be here right now, the song that reminds me most of you and I at this moment has to be Burn Bright, "...Kissed all the boys in your city lights...," all these years have been a huge rollercoaster, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I have to say, my favourite time with you that I'd ever had was the Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, or if you prefer our Revenge-Era. I think that was the high point of our love, and I don't think I'll ever love someone quite the same as I had you. Your first love always leaves an imprint on your mind, soul, heart, and even your body, I could count all the marks you've left that I still have... I remember everything, and I always will. The only sad part is I've moved onto someone else and I think that might be for the better, as well as I think you should move on too. Unrequited love is about the worst thing anyone can experience, even speaking for myself-- I'd rather be put to torture until I die than have someone not love me back. I'm not saying that I don't love you, I just don't love you to the heart like a lover, I love you as my best friend, I know I said that before, but I just want to coat that over you, I moved on, not fast, but I figured you'd want the real answer instead of fake feelings. I couldn't dare string you along like you're nothing, because baby you're my world. just like that song The World Is Ugly. That was another one I wrote about you, The Only Hope For Me Is You... Almost any song, you could flip through everyone of them and find fragments of my feelings. Even in I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. I guess that's where it all began, yeah? I shouldn't be telling you all the things that will remind you of me, or even showing you, (i.e. my face.) but just please try to understand, I'm sorry my dear Frankie, I love you, we had a wonderfully amazing time together.

Sincerely, Gerard.

I sat my pen down, rereading the letter. Wondering if I had been too harsh, or anything of the latter, my biggest concern would be how he would take it. I certainly didn't want a single tear to even drop from his gorgeous eyes. Regarding the matter at hand, this letter was the biggest lie I've ever pulled from myself. I still had feelings for him, but unfortunately I cannot pull off-- more of continue this secret relationship.