Be Aware (Demon! Percy Jackson)

I Was A Lonely Soul

Nico:

"What?" I asked.

"Just give me the blade!" He snapped at me. "It's just as easy to do it myself."

I looked down at the demon blade. A tear escaping.

He was willing to kill himself.

He was willing to commite suicide.

The tear fell on the blade as I put it back in my jacket.

"No." I told him. My voice shaky.

"Nico, just-" Percy started.

"No." I said, more firm that time. I wouldn't let him. I'm not losing him that easy. "I'm not letting you slip that easy, Percy."

"So what?" He asked, looking up at me. "You're gonna torture me downstairs, right? Use it against me? More fun for you I guess, right? Put me in more pain than I'm already in."

"No." I said, pulling over a chair. "Not that."

"What are you-?" He got confused as I stood on the chair and brought the knife back out, scraping part of the devils trap, breaking the spell.

"I'm letting you out." I told him. "You're right. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't let you do it, either."

"Why?" Percy asked me as I put the chair back. "You said it yourself, I'm a demon. You want me to leave? That was the only other option I heard."

"No." I said. "I want you to stay."

"Then what?" He asked. "What are you going to do to me? Send me to Olympus?"

"No." I repeat. "I want you to stay here. At camp."

"What are you going to do to me?" He asked. "I know there's something."

"Nothing." I told him. "I won't... I can't hurt you, Percy. The only thing I want out of you is to prove the others wrong. You're not innocent. But nobody here is. None of us have pure blood. Don't show them you're innocent. But show them that being a demon... It's not such a bad thing. If there can be a fallen angel, why isn't there a risen demon? They're not all the same thing."

"So." The son of Poseidon said, stepping out of the circle. "That's it? No torture, no hurt, nothing? Just prove to them I'm not what I seem like?"

"Oh!" I said. It's now or never, right? As well as I'm on his good side.

No, I'm not telling him how I feel exactly. But I'm telling him I don't hate him.

"What?" He asked me.

"Do you have time to talk non violently?" I asked him.

"Well I suppose." Percy said. "I mean, Im a dead man if I leave my cabin, right?"

So we sat down. He gave me a small snack.

"I though food wasnt allowed in cabins." I said. We were downstairs. Where theyd least likely find us. Aside Tyson. Locked on the inside, though.

"This isn't the cabin." He told me. "Hush. They don't need to know I sneak snacks."

I got us some water. Tap water and just to freak him out, for the hell of it, got some on me and like splashed it at him and he flinched.

"It's tap, not holy." I told him. "You'd be dead long by now if camp ran on holy water."

"I would.' He agreed, taking it. " So what's new? Aside the whole you're a hunter part.'

"Well not new." I said. "Just haven't really told you."

Somebody started banging on the door.

"Let us in!" Hazel yelled with a few others.

"Nah!" We both told them.

"Nico!?" Hazel got concerned. "Is he hurting you!?"

"No." I said. "And if anything, I would've had to hurt him."

"Eh." Percy said.

"Just hold on, were coming  Nico!" Hazel said and so we put a chair in front of the door and slipped a Do Not Interrupt sign under the door for them.

"Really?" Jason asked. "You're gonna trap yourself down there with a demon?"

"Okay, I take that to offense." Percy commented. "Thank you very much. Ever care to think through I've always been a demon. What changes now that you know about me?"

After arguing with them for about 20 minutes, we got them to leave.

Percy and myself headed back down to stairs to the room, and continued.

"So why do you want to talk?" Percy asked me. "I mean, you said it all earlier."

I let in a breath.

"Not really." I came clean. "If the gods didn't call me to come to their meeting because there's a demon in camp I'm supposed to get rid of, none of that wouldve happened. I'd care less about what's in your cabin. Well, unless I found this. But most of that was a lie. As is most of the stuff I say, anyway."

"Like what?" The son of Poseidon asked me, a little interested.

"Just about everything." I told him. "I act like I'm okay. Like I don't  need anyone. And it's just an act. I thought... I don't know what I thought. That maybe it'd become true or some shit. And it's not. I'm not..."

I ran my fingers through my hair, which probably needed a cut. This fall I'll get it cut. First I need the time.

"What are you...?" He for confused as I felt tears starting to form.

"I act like I'm okay all the time." I broke it down a little. Tears starting to fall. "And I'm not. I don't remember... I grew up going from hotel to hotel, school to school. Every few weeks because my mom was trying to find the thing that killed her sister and her mom and her dad. When she found it I thought it was over. I thought maybe I'd get a life. One school. But it just continued. Week after week. New town, new school, new people. I knew how to exorcise whatever you needed to when I was five. My mom let me shoot a shotgun when I was 6. When I was 8 we were in Kansas. Mom was working on a case. Bianca came for that one. Shadow her. I came from school to the crappy ass hotel and Bianca was covered in blood. Mom had been possessed and killed. We were taken to the Lotus Casino. For weeks Bianca didn't speak or do anything. Eat every few days. Until she got more protective over me as a sister. Which after a few years kind of wore off when she up and left with the Hunt and then died. Which of course then fucking wars, Tartarus, the stupid Giants.... Why anyone believed I was okay, I don't know. I acted like I was. When reality is just about anything but, right? I don't even know who I can trust here aside you. I know Annabeth hates me, I creep out Leo and Frank and Jason and Piper and probably Hazel, too. You want to know why I wouldn't give you the knife earlier? Why I wouldn't kill you?"

He remained silent. Telling me to go on.

"You're the one person I trust." I tell him. "You're my only friend. You are all I have left, Percy. I will not lose that because of something so stupid. Gods orders or not. I know you think I hate you because that's how it seems and I don't. At all. I never could."