This summer was intended to be time for myself, to recover. But I failed, I know it's not over, yet, but I keep having this feeling that I am throwing away every single day. I am waiting for something to happen and it doesn't because I don't even know what I am waiting for. I wanted to be busy because if I don't know what to do I think a lot and I end up sad, feeling empty. Now I've got every morning busy, ok that's what I wanted except that now I am too tired to continue and I was supposed to recover strengths for next year. So summer 2015 can you start again so I can do things differently?
I know my writing is a complete mess but I write whenever I can and mostly I think about what to write but can't at the moment so when I finally do it I end up writing depending on my current mood. I really wanted to be more optimistic in this book, to write all those positive thoughts to encourage me, but lately I just feel like the illness is winning this battle, I even have dreams about it and trust me when I say is the worst nightmare I've ever had.
If anyone is reading this, please help me. Yesterday I finished reading "Paper towns" and like it says, my last string is about to brake. I try not to cry but I want to, I feel powerless, like there is nothing I can do. Maybe I wake up one day with energy to fight but it doesn't last. It's a circle that never ends.
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Learning how to live again
No FicciónIn the past 4 years I've been through a lot, I still do. The thing is after all I've forgotten how to live, how to enjoy, have fun, what is like to be normal, arguing with my parents for normal reasons, not going mad for everything, I've forgotten h...
