Internet friend

xo til we overdose

codys pov:

I woke up with Sarah still in my arms. god she's adorable when she's asleep I though as I climbed out of bed. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the bread eggs and bacon. I started to make breakfast in bed for Sarah because honestly she deserves it. let's face it I asked her out In front of about 850 people last night. I honestly hope she dosent get a lot of hate because she's dating me. I would feel really bad because I know how my fans can be. after Halle played me they went ballistic on her.

I brought in Sarah's breakfast and sat on the bed next to her.

good morning princess I whispered in her ear as she slowly started to wake up. she smiled when she saw me and kissed me on the cheek.

good morning baby. she replied sitting up leaning against the headboard of the bed. I gave her the plate of eggs bacon and toast.

thank you Cody you really didn't have to do this though baby. besides what are you gonna eat? she asked with a hint of curiousity in her voice.

I looked at her a gently bit my lip. you I said

Cody I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. don't get me wrong I love you but I'm not sure if I'm ready to take our relationship there that fast. can we just take it slow? Sarah asked. I can tell she was worried I would get upset but I really wasn't. I mean for one the furthest I've went with a girl is making out. Sarah lost her virginity to jason. and I'm only 16. and another factor is I'm sort of scared to eat her out because let's face it its my first time doing it.

no no don't worry. in a way I was hoping you would say no because I'm quite nervous too. I chuckled.

as Sarah got done with her breakfast she hopped into the shower, got dressed and left for home.

I decided to go on Twitter because there was nothing else to do when I got a weird text from Halle.

Halle:  did you really sleep with that whore? I wonder what matt would think. hmm I'll have to let him know.

before I could text matt my Twitter started to blow up for some strange reason.

I was getting a shit load of hate. and no surprise it was coming from matt and Halle's followers. honestly I couldn't take this anymore. I rushed to the bathroom, grabbed a blade and set it on my skin resting it there feeling the cold blade on my skin for the first time in 2 and a half months.

I pressed the blade into my forearm and started to drag it across my arm. feeling the sting as some blood apearded at the surface of my arm. I continued to drag the blade across my skin but something stopped me. and no it wasn't just thinking of Harry Styles.

Sarah. oh shit. I can't let her see this. I fell to the floor and pulled my knees in towards my chest. even though the cuts wernt as deep, they were still noticeable.

why did I do this. all of my followers look up to me. they don't want to see the person they look up to like this. and what about Sarah? she's a couple months clean and the last time she did cut was when jason died and she ended up in the hospital because not only did she cut deep but she tried to overdose too. Cody your such a fuck up. from this point on I need to stay clean.

I looked at my phone. I checked Twitter once again. Halle and matt of course deactivated. sure they can talk all this shit but they always run away when they know it'll be coming towards them. they think there so perfect. maybe they belong together. maybe that's why Halle cheated on me. because I wasn't good enough. maybe I'm just not good enough.