𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐏A𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄, jp

New Years Eve.

Izzy stood in front of the mirror, her vanity lit softly by the warm glow of enchanted fairy lights trailing along the frame. Her hands trembled slightly as she held the mascara wand, trying to steady her breathing. The silence in the room was deafening except for the occasional rustle of her dress against her thighs and the quiet hum of the winter wind brushing against her bedroom window.

She hadn't wanted to go to the Potters New Years Eve party, however, she was more or less being forced.

"I told you, I'm fine!" Izzy snapped, arms folded as she sat stiffly at the kitchen table. Across from her, her parents exchanged worried glances.

"No, you're not," Lyall said firmly, shaking his head.

"Yes, I am."

"Isabella," Hope said gently, her tone laced with concern. "You're sick."

"No, I'm not," Izzy shot back, though her voice wavered slightly. Deep down, she knew she wasn't okay. But the idea of seeing a shrink, and of admitting it out loud, made her skin crawl. She was just going through a rough patch. She could handle it on her own.

Lyall leaned forward, elbows on the table. "Then prove it. You go back to Hogwarts in one week — and you are going back. If you can spend this week leaving the house every day, eating dinner with us, and actually talking to us, we'll reconsider the idea of you meeting with a shrink."

Hope chimed in, her voice firm but kind. "And that starts with you attending the Potters' New Year's Eve party tomorrow evening."

Izzy bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to taste blood. Her eyes flicked between her parents, searching for a crack in their plan. There was none. Lyall's jaw was set, his arms crossed, and Hope was watching her with that gentle, unwavering concern that only made Izzy feel smaller.

"Fine," she muttered.

"Fine, you'll go to the party?" Hope asked carefully.

"Yes," Izzy snapped. "I'll go."

"Good," Lyall nodded.

She'd rather attend the party than deal with whatever doctor her parents wanted her to speak to, so that's what she was doing, and she was fighting with her live to push the anxiety down, but it kept trying to fizz back up. She looked at herself, and for a moment, she barely recognized the girl staring back. Concealer masked the tired shadows under her eyes, her eyeliner was sharp and winged, her lips had the perfect shade of pink on them. She looked nice, the best she had done in weeks, maybe months. She just didn't feel like herself, everything seemed to have changed and she hated it.

She was wearing short black dress that lay perfectly on her frame, elegant and understated. Long sleeves hugged her arms, covering what she couldn't bear to see. The hem stopped mid-thigh, paired with sleek black heels that clicked lightly against the wooden floor when she moved. She'd curled her hair into soft curls that framed her face like a curtain, a veil she could hide behind if she needed to.

Her stomach was in knots. Her chest ached with something unnamable. It wasn't even about the party, because she knew that it would be nice to see her friends, she just didn't want to play the game of pretending all night. She hated doing it, and Hogwarts was going to be even worse. She didn't even know what they thought about that one night that Remus had told them all about Maisie, she had no clue what their feelings were.

She had no idea what James was thinking.

She missed him. She missed how physically affectionate he was, it was like he spoke to her through touch. It was like he showed how well he understood through touch. She missed how kind and caring he was, he was patient, gentle. She felt guilty for shutting him out all of these weeks.