Open Deception {Temporary Hiatus}

{Three}

My head ached.

Unsure of my whereabouts, I slowly reached my right hand up to my forehead. A welt the size of a golf ball covered part of my temple and eyebrow. As my eyes fluttered open, I slowly regained consciousness and tried to remember where I was. The floor was tiled and cold as I placed my hands down, forcing my body into a sitting position. Realizing I was in the girls bathroom, panic began to set in and a gasp escaped my lips. Memories flooded back from the day and I looked down at my body.

I was naked.

The tears fell before I could stop them. Reaching for my tattered clothes, I scrambled to the corner of the bathroom. My heart raced as I tried to remember the specifics. Images of Colt and his teammates appeared. I quickly shook my head.

I didn't want to remember.

Instead of waiting for the thoughts to return, I stood then walked toward the sink. Pumping soap into my hand, I began to rub it all over my body. The tears fell faster and eventually everything was a blur.

After rinsing, I started the process again. I added more soap to the palm of my hand, then scrubbed each of my extremities.

I didn't hear the janitor come in.

When he gasped, I looked up.

"Uh... Is everything okay?"

I watched him turn around. I tried to scream but my voice was gone. I could feel the hoarseness of each side as I tried to swallow. Throwing my torn tank top and skirt over my body, I raced out the door. Heading down the stairs, I ran back toward my locker. My backpack sat in a piled heap next to the door that led toward an exit. I picked it up and shoved the door open.

My running continued. The buses were gone and only two cars remained. I didn't check my phone or make a call. I just kept running. I started up the sidewalk on Jefferson Street. I headed toward Land Way and turned left. With only ten more blocks, I forced my legs to continue.

I could feel the hot tears drop down my cheeks as my vision blurred once more. Hoping that cars would watch out for me, I kept pushing toward home.

When my two-story, modular home appeared, I picked up the pace and headed through the backyard. Racing up the stairs, I crossed the balcony then entered my room through the glass door. I tossed my backpack against my nightstand and headed straight for the shower.

Mom called up to me, asking how school was. I ignored her and turned the hot water on. I didn't wait for the cold water to keep up. Stepping inside, I let the scalding hot water rinse over me. I reached for my puff and added my body wash.

Scrubbing my body, I tried to wash off what I couldn't remember. My arms and legs began to turn red at the intensity of the heat and the pressure. As I reached my belly, I glanced at my legs and saw the bruising that I hadn't seen before now.

Slouching down in the shower, I curled up under the water. I let it burn me as I cried. I felt so unclean. Not knowing the entire event, I felt sick to my stomach. I opened the shower curtain and quickly threw the toilet seat back. My stomach heaved every content out into the water. My hot tears joined in the mix as I wallowed in my misery. A knock at the door startled me. As I jumped, I pulled the shower curtain back around my body.

"What?"

My hoarse voice was harsher than I meant but I remained quiet. I heard mumbling then the door's knob began to turn. I quickly lowered the toilet seat and shut the shower curtain. Closing my eyes, I tried to refocus on the person entering my bathroom. Images of the girls bathroom returned and I quickly reopened my eyes, shoving them aside.

"Honey, everything okay?"

Mom.

I cursed any God that might be listening and cleared my throat. "I'm fine, mom. What do you need?" I watched as her shadow approached the shower curtain. "I just wanted to make sure that everything is fine. You missed the bus today."

I released a sigh. "Mom, I had to talk to the principal today. I had a bloody nose and missed the final bell for class."

Mom sighed and headed back toward the door. "Oh, okay. Great! Well, I'll leave you to your shower then." With that, she closed the door. I bit my lip until I tasted blood and then fought the urge to vomit once more. Pulling my body back toward the water, I started my scrubbing process again.

I still felt dirty when I turned the water off but the water started to change to freezing temperatures. I exited the shower and wrapped my body in a towel. The mirror was completely foggy as I left the bathroom, heading to my room. I locked the door behind me and examined my body.

I had bruises on my lower back, hips, thighs and chest. I noticed that my neck was slightly lighter than everywhere else and breathed a sigh of relief. Everything else was coverable. I reached for an oversized black hoodie and sweatpants then laid on my bed.

Closing my eyes, I cursed my life and wished for death to take me in my sleep.