Open Deception {Temporary Hiatus}

{Harper's Journal Entry: One}

Dear Diary...

For a Stupid Journal,

To Whom it May Concern,

I don't know how to start this... As you can see, I crossed out the first two attempts because, well, I think this is stupid. I don't think this will help, in fact, I think this is a complete waste of time. But for now, I have no other choice. I literally think I'll go crazy if I don't get this out of my system.

The last couple of days I want to forget. Who can give me a time machine to do just that? I hate that this is my life. I hate Co-, C. I need to figure out a better way to code this but C is the reason for most of my problems lately and I can't do a thing about it.

I don't remember everything, but I know that I was violated. Should I write violated? Is that even the right way to do this? Ugh... I don't fucking care. I was raped. There... Let's call it what it is. Someone took a picture of the aftermath. I'm public.

R found out about it because So sent it by text. I wanted to tell R, I really did. But then, after I lied about it, R couldn't even tell. What the hell? You'd think R would be able to, yet she couldn't. I guess it's better that I didn't tell her. I'm sure R would have a lot of opinions on the matter, most of which involving judgement.

Since that day, I don't feel anything. I'm numb inside and feel empty. It's like, C, S and the Boys took things from me. They took my happiness away from me and now I don't know how to get it back. I think Holland knows something is up. I don't know how, but it's like he really can read my mind.

How do you get the life back that you know you had before? It wasn't grand, but I could feel... My lifeless remain is hard to cope with. I want to die...

Speaking of... Someone called and told me to keep going. Who it was, I don't know. They seemed to know me. I sort of recognized the voice but don't know who it belongs to. The whole conversation bothered me, to be honest. How did this person know I want to die and when did he get my number? Either way, I'm still here... Isn't that great? Guess I have more than one issue to deal with...

For Another Time,

HC