My Ordinary Diary

Back stab

8/2/2015

4:48 am

I cant sleep again for the millionth night.

I feel like its always the same. I wake up, eat, watch movies, take a shit, then go to sleep. Sometimes i question if anything will ever change, like why cant i be a serial killer or something. Not some bratty annoying 13 year old. Even my cat doesnt like me. But atleast I get a laugh in everyday, Because there is this fanfiction I'm reading and it always makes me laugh.

I havent talked to anyone today except for my sister and my mom, and that was only whe they were pissed, except for at 5:00 my mom burst into my room crying because my sister rammed her car into a pole. I just stared at her, no in shock, but watched her every move.

Something hasnt been feeling right lately, but when i found out about my sister, i remembered how Paul Walker died, and didnt feel anything. Mt mom was crying about how she was scared that my sister could of died, but i still didnt feel anything. All i did was call her a dumbass,and the second i left my moms room after that fiasco, i though "Serves you right for all the shit you put me through," 

I mean okay, yeah, all siblings talk crap each other, but the way she said everything was like i was supposed to be dead years ago. Then my mom is a different story, she rubs it in my face, then goes on with the day like, like i was supposed to be the perfect child all along that she wanted, but news flash no one gives birth to the child they want, im sorry im not like my sister with her perfect cleaning, studying, and everything, but atleast i dont try to... what the hell am i saying, shes the perfect child they wanted, all she does is stand up for herself. Here i am saying im the perfect child when they inly fight, to me all they do is talk behind my back, butmy under the bus, use me, and stab me in the back.

Sometimes i really wish i was dead.

~Animebabe12351